Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the recent years, the sedentary lifestyle of the workers has become a central feature of health issues. I firmly believe that due to the hectic schedules and over dependence on technological gadgets the people are leading to this. This can be mitigated by telling about the merits of physical activity.

The primary factor is the workload of these individuals. This is because the companies are putting immense pressure of different tasks on the employees. For instance, a person working as a salesman not only have to look after customers needs but also the same person is responsible to look after the finances as well as customer care complaints. Consequently, whole day they are occupied with these thoughts and return home tired and unwind there stress by using the gadgets such as cell phones.

There are numerous solutions for this pressing concern, the main solution is that the companies or the higher authorities should carry out campaigns about the advantages of getting involved in the physical activities even only for 30 minutes a day. The clear illustration of this is that there should be opening of the gyms near by the corporate companies as well as open green spacious parks where the worker can do physical activity for a while. Therefore, by doing this the health issues can be solved such as the obesity, depression and stress.

In conclusion, while the heavy work pressure is the primary driver behind this growing societal challenge, it can be effectively mitigated if authorities enforce the compulsory exercising schedule to the citizens.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as workload pressure and the role of corporate initiatives. However, the development is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of why employees use gadgets to unwind is brief, and the proposed solution of 'compulsory exercising' in the conclusion is a new, slightly extreme idea not fully explored in the body paragraphs. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is supported with more detailed reasoning or specific examples to fully flesh out the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'consequently', 'for instance', and 'in conclusion', which help the flow of ideas. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as 'the people are leading to this', where the antecedent is slightly unclear. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the problem from the solution. Overall, the progression of ideas is coherent, though the connection between sentences could be smoother to achieve a more natural flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task. You use some topic-specific terms like 'sedentary lifestyle', 'mitigated', and 'corporate companies'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'opening of the gyms' instead of 'the establishment of gyms' or 'the same person is responsible to look after' instead of 'responsible for looking after'. While the meaning is always clear, the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on simpler phrasing. Expanding your range of collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary would improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that persist throughout the text, such as 'In the recent years' (should be 'In recent years'), 'a salesman not only have to' (subject-verb agreement error: 'has'), and 'unwind there stress' (should be 'their'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some run-on sentences and minor errors in article usage. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct pronoun usage will help improve accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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