Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many employers don't get adequate workout activities both during the business day and in their leisure time and this, in turn, leads to sophisticated medical conditions. Overly recent years, working people not getting enough exercise has become a hotly debated issue in society. This concern is particularly significant due to its impact on health, affecting both individuals and communities. In this essay, I will examine the problems associated with inadequate workout activities and explore possible solutions, along with their implications for society.

One of the major problems of working people suffering from health issues is attributed to the fact that they are working on the computers and they don't have to move here and there as a result. This is evident from the fact that working people are bound to their seats and in their nine to five job, they are strictly prohibited to do any other activity and soon, they become overweight. Various studies have shown that not doing proper workout often lead to obesity and obesity, as in general, is the main and major cause of severe cardiac difficulties.

Additionally, another key issue related to severe health problems is due to excessive intake of caffeine because caffeine is quite dangerous for health being a main cause of insomnia, ulcer and many other diseases. For instance, the working people have to work from 9 to 5 and sometimes, have to overtime so they take caffeine which then becomes a major cause of nervous as well as cardiac issues. Therefore, it is evident that the problems arising from not exercising must be addressed with urgency and careful consideration.

Despite these challenges, there are effective solutions to address problems associated with inadequate workout activities. One significant approach is that the working people should walk more often and after their meal hours in the office, they should walk at least for 10 to 20 minutes. It will refresh their mood as well as keep them healthy and confident. They should be advised to workout three to four times a week. Furthermore, the working people should mainly concentrate on their diet and should avoid junk food. They should also avoid extreme intake of caffeine, cold drinks and should take a proper diet with herbal tea or chamomile tea. Thus, implementing comprehensive strategies is essential for mitigating the negative impacts of not properly working out.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that a sedentary life style can negatively effect health. People should be encouraged to adapt a healthy lifestyle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the discussion on caffeine in the second body paragraph is only tangentially related to the prompt's focus on exercise, and the explanation of why people do not exercise is limited to 'working on computers'. To reach a higher band, you should expand on broader societal factors, such as long commuting times or the pressure of modern work culture, and ensure your solutions are more directly linked to the specific problems identified.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'not doing proper workout often lead to obesity and obesity, as in general, is the main and major cause'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas would enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'sedentary lifestyle', 'mitigating', and 'sophisticated medical conditions'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'employers' is used when you likely meant 'employees', and 'workout activities' is a slightly unnatural collocation compared to 'physical activity' or 'exercise'. Furthermore, the repetition of 'working people' and 'major cause' limits the lexical variety. Focusing on more precise terminology and avoiding repetitive phrasing will help improve your score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('not doing proper workout often lead to') and incorrect word forms ('negatively effect' instead of 'affect', 'adapt' instead of 'adopt'). Additionally, some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'they are strictly prohibited to do any other activity'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and common verb-noun collocations.

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