Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many employees don't get adequate physical exercise both during the business day and in their leisure time which, in turn, leads to serious medical conditions. In recent years, working people not getting enough exercise has become a hotly debated issue in society. This concern is particularly significant due to its impact on health, affecting both individuals and communities. In this essay, I will examine the problems associated with inadequate physical exercise and explore possible solutions, along with their implications for society.

One of the major problems of working people suffering from health issues is attributed to the fact that they are working on computers and they don't have to move frequently as a result. This is evident from the fact that working people are bound to their seats and in their nine to five job, they are strictly prohibited from doing any other activity and soon, they become overweight. Various studies have shown that not exercising regularly often leads to obesity and obesity, as in general, is the main and major cause of severe cardiac difficulties.

Additionally, another key issue related to severe health problems is due to excessive intake of caffeine because caffeine is quite dangerous for health being a main cause of insomnia, ulcers and many other diseases. For instance, the working people have to work from 9 to 5 and sometimes, have to work overtime so they take caffeine which then becomes a major cause of nervous as well as cardiac issues. Therefore, it is evident that the problems arising from not exercising must be addressed with urgency and careful consideration.

Despite these challenges, there are effective solutions to address problems associated with inadequate physical exercise. One significant approach is that the employees should walk more often and after their meal hours in the office, they should walk at least for 10 to 20 minutes. It will refresh their mood as well as keep them healthy and confident. They should be advised to work out three to four times a week. Furthermore, the working people should mainly concentrate on their diet and should avoid junk food. They should also avoid excessive intake of caffeine, cold drinks and should take a proper diet with herbal tea or chamomile tea. Thus, implementing comprehensive strategies is essential for mitigating the negative impacts of a sedentary lifestyle.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that a sedentary lifestyle can negatively affect health. People should be encouraged to adopt a healthy lifestyle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The second paragraph focuses heavily on the sedentary nature of office work, which is relevant, but the third paragraph introduces caffeine consumption as a 'key issue' related to exercise, which is a slight deviation from the prompt's focus on physical activity. While the solutions provided are practical, the essay would benefit from more depth in explaining how these solutions specifically overcome the barriers mentioned. The position is clear, but the argument could be more tightly focused on the direct link between work culture and physical inactivity.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'For instance', and 'Therefore' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally easy to follow. However, the referencing is occasionally repetitive, and the concluding paragraph is quite brief, failing to fully synthesize the points made in the body paragraphs. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring a more robust conclusion would enhance the flow and logical structure of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'sedentary lifestyle', 'cardiac difficulties', and 'mitigating'. However, there are instances of repetitive phrasing, such as the repeated use of 'working people' and 'major cause'. Some collocations are slightly unnatural, such as 'working on computers' (better: 'working at computers') and 'refresh their mood'. To reach a higher band, the student should aim for more varied synonyms and more precise collocations to demonstrate a wider range of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is a good attempt at using complex sentences, though some contain minor errors in punctuation or word order, such as 'obesity, as in general, is the main and major cause'. There are occasional grammatical slips, such as 'the working people have to work' (the article 'the' is unnecessary here) and 'walk at least for 10 to 20 minutes' (better: 'walk for at least 10 to 20 minutes'). Despite these errors, the meaning is consistently clear, and the grammar does not impede communication.

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