Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Owing to the long working hours and stressful job routines, many working people nowadays do not either engage in the physical activities such as exercise or they occasionally go to the gym.There have been numerous researches in the recent years to properly understand this trend in the people. Many factors have been identified that contribute to this behaviour. In this essay, the main causes will be addressed.

Firstly, due to advancement in the science and technology completing the projects has become easier but at the same time, it has caused job insecurity. Office workers believe that even making a small mistake or missing any deadline will cost their job. For instance, in the AI sector, there have been many incidents that employees are being terminated from their jobs due to some minor issues in their work and they are replaced with AI based software’s. All of this contributes to unnecessary work pressure on people and eventually they focus more on their job and assignments than joining a gym and engaging in some physical activity even at home.

Secondly, with increase in inflation in the past few decades, most of the working class is unable to meet their expenses form a single job. Hence, they are forced to get some part time job. As a result, at the end of a long working day, they hardly get enough energy to have some dinner rest alone engaging in any physical activity.

This life-style has effected the quality of life. Many diseases such as Cardiovascular diseases, High blood Pressure and Depression have become very common among the young people.

To address this issue effectively, workers and companies need to work collectively. There should be modifications in the existing policies focusing on the worker's health. At the same time, there is a need to update salary structures so that people can focus on one job and do their work effectively. In addition to this, after every 4 hours, workers should be encouraged to have 10 minutes break and get involved in some sort of physical activity. This will not only help them to stay healthy but will also increase their productivity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt, exploring both the causes of why working people lack exercise (job insecurity, AI pressure, and financial inflation requiring part-time jobs) and offering actionable solutions. Your position is clear throughout the essay. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as referencing the AI sector and the pressure of meeting tight deadlines. However, the introduction contains a slight mismatch with your essay outline: you mention that you will address the 'main causes', but the prompt also asks what can be done, and you do cover solutions in your final paragraph. A more precise introductory statement would have earned a higher mark here, but overall, all parts of the task are well-covered.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall progression and is logically organised into paragraphs with appropriate introductions and conclusions. You make use of cohesive devices to guide the reader through your arguments, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In addition to this'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, separating the causes into distinct paragraphs and addressing the solutions at the end. However, a minor flaw exists in cohesive referencing and mechanical phrasing in places, such as 'rest alone engaging in any physical activity', which slightly disrupts the flow of the argument. Overall, the logical structure and progression are clear throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary range is adequate and sufficient for the task. You attempt less common items and subject-specific vocabulary such as 'job insecurity', 'termination', 'inflation', and 'productivity'. There are some word choice and collocation inaccuracies, for instance, 'softwares' instead of 'software', and 'rest alone engaging' instead of 'let alone engage'. Additionally, there is a minor spelling error with 'effected' instead of 'affected'. Despite these occasional errors, the range is sufficient to convey your ideas with some precision and flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, using conditional and participial phrases such as 'Owing to the long working hours...' and 'To address this issue effectively...'. There are a number of grammatical errors and awkward structures, such as 'do not either engage in the physical activities' (misplacement of correlative conjunctions) and 'meetings their expenses form a single job' (preposition error). Punctuation is generally acceptable, though there are missing spaces after periods in a couple of instances. The errors do not impede communication, allowing the reader to follow your points easily.

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