Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-15
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.
Why do many working people not get enough exercise?
What can be done about this problem?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Child obesity has become more frequent to occur in today's world. It may cause several problems in their medical well-being which is directly related with costs that they will have to face by the time they get older. There are different reasonings for this problem and one of the reasons is lack of the education in nutritional values. To tackle this issue governments can add mandatory lessons in their yearly curriculum to teach them these facts.
The reason behind this issue can be explained by the limited education that students receive in schools. Most of the schools do not offer lessons about nutritional values of foods and how to analyze it. For example when student crave for a snack they go for it without knowing what they are eating and these snacks contain lots of fat, sugar and lack of protein. Basicly that means, the more they eat, the more they will get obese because these ingredients later are turned to body fat that causes obesity in human. Since they do not know what is good to consume or not they blindly go for these snacks.
The solution for this problem is simple: proper education. As I mentionad earlier most of the schools do not offer education about foods that students have been consuming almost daily. By education students can learn what is good to eat or not because they are often affected by the lessons and try to use the information in their daily lives that they have learned in classes. However issue is most of the schools think that it is unnecessary to teach. Therefore, governments should take action. They should change the official curriculum by adding mandatory lessons about what is healthy diet, or how to calculate calories by analyzing the figures of nutrients such as fat, sugar, and protein. By that lessons, teachers can enlighten them about these facts.
To conclude, I believe that the main issue is education. Most of the schools believe that these lessons are worthless to offer. But if students do not know these vital informations about their health, then they could not change their eating habits because simply they do not know! So governments should add mandatory lessons.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response suffers from a significant off-topic issue, which severely impacts the task achievement score. The writing prompt specifically asks about working people getting little or no exercise and suffering health problems as a result, requiring reasons why they do not get enough exercise and what can be done about it. However, the student writes entirely about child obesity and the lack of nutritional education in schools. Because the essay addresses a completely different topic than the one assigned, it fails to meet the core requirements of the task. Although the ideas regarding education are somewhat developed within their chosen framework, they do not answer the prompt regarding working adults and physical exercise.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There are basic attempts at logical progression, such as 'The reason behind this issue can be explained by...' and 'To conclude, I believe that...'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical, as seen with repeated phrases like 'for this problem' and 'education about foods'. Paragraphing is used, but the overall progression is undermined by the fundamental misunderstanding of the prompt's subject matter. Transitional devices are present but lack sophistication.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a limited but minimally adequate range of vocabulary for expressing ideas about health and schooling, using terms such as 'nutritional values', 'obesity', 'mandatory lessons', and 'curriculum'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'frequent to occur', 'lack of the education', 'Basicly', and 'mentionad'. Some vocabulary is repetitive, particularly around the concepts of 'education' and 'lessons', which restricts the lexical score to the Band 5 level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The text contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as conditional and relative clauses ('Because they do not know what is good to consume or not they blindly go for these snacks'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('lack of protein', 'by education students can learn'), incorrect prepositions ('related with costs'), punctuation issues (missing commas after introductory phrases), and spelling errors ('Basicly', 'mentionad'). These errors occasionally cause some difficulty, though communication of the student's specific points remains mostly clear.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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