Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

People are following sedementary lifestyle in recent years. It has been seen that they are paying more attention to strengthen their finance and ignore their fitness. There are many other reasons of why people avoid doing excercise. Life has become busier than ever in the past. This essay will discus problems behind such developments and potential solutions.

To begin, working hours have significantly increased in recent years. Many high paid jobs such as IT consultant, management or contractor often demand long hours of seating. Although people are spending half of their day at the workplace, they often worried about output which highly contribute to mental stress and depression. In other words, new work culture is causing lot of trouble on individuals health.

Furthermore, some people could not afford to pay monthly fees at recreational facilities. It has been seen that poor people does not have enough source to support their household and paying monthly fees at gym would be additional burden. As a result, they stop paying attention on their health and focus on long working hours to earn more money.

To solve the problems, some initiatives needs to be taken by government authorities and individuals. Sports events should be organised by companies and they should encourage employees to take participate in it. Government should enforce the law of having recreational facilities in every residential building which allows individual to use facilities such as gym, swimming pool, squash balls and others. If it will be applicable than health index of nations would get better.

To sum up, this problem can be solved with careful steps. Individuals can be benefited by having recreation facilities at their residential. Regular competition at work place also allow individuals to engage with sports which overall improve fitness index of society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, exploring the reasons why working people lack exercise—such as increased working hours, sedentary job roles, and financial constraints—and proposes workable solutions involving employers and government authorities. The student maintains a clear position throughout the essay. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed; for example, the point about poor people lacking financial resources could have been explored with more nuance regarding time constraints versus gym costs. Overall, the task is successfully covered, earning a solid band 6.5, leaning towards band 7 for addressing all prompt requirements directly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is coherent with an overall logical arrangement. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing causes and solutions, and a concise conclusion. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'To begin,' 'Furthermore,' and 'To sum up,' although referencing is sometimes slightly faulty, as seen in 'this problem' and repetitive closing structures. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but transitional links can occasionally feel mechanical rather than naturally flowing. This performance aligns comfortably with the descriptors for Band 6.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'sedementary' (spelling error for sedentary), 'recreational facilities', and 'health index'. There are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'discus' instead of discuss, 'high paid' instead of highly paid, and 'seating' instead of sitting. However, these lexical errors do not impede communication, and the writer successfully conveys their message throughout. The vocabulary range is minimally sufficient for a band 6 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as conditional sentences ('If it will be applicable than...') and subordinate clauses. However, there are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('poor people does not have'), tense inconsistencies, and preposition errors ('take participate in it'). The conditional structure contains a tense error ('If it will be applicable'). While these errors are noticeable and require some effort from the reader, they do not completely obscure the meaning, placing this performance firmly at Band 6.

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