Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

People are following sedentary lifestyle in recent years. It has been seen that they are paying more attention to strengthening their finance and ignoring their fitness. There are many other reasons why people avoid doing execercise. Life has become busier than ever in the past. This essay will discuss problems behind such developments and potential solutions. To begin, working hours have significantly increased in recent years. Many high-paying jobs such as an IT consultant, management or contractor often demand long hours of sitting. Although people are spending half of their day at the workplace, they are often worried about output which highly contributes to mental stress and depression. In other words, new work culture is causing lot of trouble to individuals health. Furthermore, some people cannot afford to pay monthly fees at recreational facilities. It has been seen that poor people do not have enough sources to support their household and paying monthly fees at the gym would be an additional burden. As a result, they stop paying attention to their health and focus on long working hours to earn more money. To solve the problems, some initiatives need to be taken by government authorities and individuals. Sports events should be organised by companies and they should encourage employees to take part in it. Government should enforce the law of having recreational facilities in every residential building which allows individual to use facilities such as gym, swimming pool, squash balls and others. If it will be applicable than health index of nations would get better. To sum up, this problem can be solved with careful steps. Individuals can be benefited by having recreation facilities at their residential. Regular competition at workplace also allows individual to engage with sports which overall improve fitness index of society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the reasons why working people lack exercise and proposing potential solutions. The main ideas are relevant and generally clear, such as increased working hours, sedentary job roles, and financial constraints preventing gym memberships. Solutions involving government legislation and company-sponsored initiatives are also presented. However, some arguments lack full development; for instance, the point regarding poor people could be extended with more specific examples. Despite these minor limitations, the position is clear throughout and all prompt requirements are met satisfactorily, corresponding well to the Band 6 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement and follows a recognisable structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used, though paragraph boundaries could be managed more effectively to separate distinct points. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'To begin', 'Furthermore', and 'To sum up', but referencing is occasionally mechanical or repetitive. For instance, transitional phrases like 'It has been seen that' are overused. Progression is present, but logical transitions between sentences can sometimes feel abrupt. Overall, the organisational framework supports clear communication, aligning closely with a Band 6 level.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'sedentary lifestyle', 'recreational facilities', and 'mental stress'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation errors, such as writing 'squash balls' instead of 'squash courts', 'causing lot of trouble to individuals health' with a missing possessive apostrophe, and 'sources' instead of 'resources'. Spelling is generally acceptable, and while these lexical inaccuracies are present, they do not impede communication, satisfying the criteria for Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over grammar with structures like 'Although people are spending half of their day at the workplace...' and 'If it will be applicable than health index...'. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('People are following sedentary lifestyle' missing an article), incorrect conditional structures ('If it will be applicable than...'), and missing punctuation. While these errors occur regularly, they rarely impede overall communication, placing this response securely at Band 6.

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