Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, health problems in the working class are increasing rapidly due to the lack of physical activity. This is because they are preoccupied with work and personal responsibilities. Companies can address this issue by offering mandatory exercise programs for employees.

Firstly, the main reason for this lack of physical activity is the heavy burden of personal and work responsibilities. Each employee is expected to do more work than their capacity allows. Also, the unrealistic deadlines keep them under constant pressure, so they do not give importance to their own health. Secondly, people are unaware of the benefits of exercise, which in turn helps them work better. For example, if every person gets the chance to do at least twenty minutes of physical activity everyday, they will have a clear mind and prevent the usual back and neck pain from desk jobs.

The responsibility of solving these issues lies with high authorities. One way of addressing it is that companies can include a compulsory exercise program for their employees. This is not only going to improve the health of their workers but also provide growth and expansion of the business. This is because healthy people work better and give better results. In contrast to this, overworked and unhealthy employees do not put much effort into their work. For instance, an industrial company in Japan has made a gym class compulsory for every employee for the first six months of the year; the results were compared to the time when they were not exposed to any physical activity. The latter showed poor work results and an increase in the number of sick leaves.

In conclusion, many working people have health-related problems because they do not prioritise exercise. The main reason is that they are tired of work and personal responsibilities. This can be solved if companies prioritise their workers health by including exercise programs mandatory.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task directly by explaining both the reasons why working people lack sufficient exercise and offering a practical solution. The student proposes reasons such as a heavy burden of responsibilities, unrealistic deadlines, and a lack of awareness regarding the benefits of exercise. These ideas are supported with an illustrative example involving Japanese industrial companies. The position is clear throughout the essay. However, while the ideas are relevant and extended, the development in certain sections tends to generalise slightly rather than deeply exploring alternative perspectives. Consequently, the response aligns best with the criteria for Band 7, successfully covering all prompt requirements with a clear and coherent stance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving smoothly from the introduction to the causes, the proposed solutions, and finally a succinct conclusion. Cohesive devices are used adequately to connect ideas, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In contrast to this'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct arguments. Referencing is generally clear, though a few transitions feel slightly mechanical. Overall, the structural flow makes the essay easy to follow, satisfying the requirements for Band 7.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision in discussing the topic. Phrases such as 'preoccupied with work', 'heavy burden', 'constant pressure', and 'industrial company' are used effectively. There are attempts to incorporate less common items, although minor awkward collocations appear, such as 'giving importance to their own health' instead of 'attaching importance' or 'prioritising', and 'including exercise programs mandatory' in the conclusion. Nonetheless, the vocabulary is adequate for the task, and errors do not impede communication, placing the lexical control firmly at Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over relative clauses and conditional structures, as seen in 'if every person gets the chance to do at least twenty minutes... they will have a clear mind'. There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, notably 'this is not only going to improve... but also provide growth' (which lacks parallel structure) and the phrasing in the final sentence 'by including exercise programs mandatory'. However, these errors do not impede overall communication and frequency remains manageable, comfortably securing a Band 6.0.

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