Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Having a health problems due to sedentary or busy working life has become controversial topic to discuss. People have multiple opinions regarding this challenges, and also resolution for that. I will discuss the problems and their solution in upcoming paragraphs.

First of all, money is become really important part of aggresive market, to fullfile the basic needs and dreams of their family people really work hard, consequently they less likely get a chance to focus on their health and faces some health problems like obesity. Moreover, people have holidays to focus on their life and whatever they wish to do, while they prefer to stay with their friend and family just to make their mind fresh from their daily hectic working life and wants to have fun in their life. Meanwhile they miss to focus on their personal health.

However, there are multiple ways to resolve this matter but person needs to be serious about it. Firstly, individuals need to have proper schedule of their days, weeks and months to follow, in which they have to divided their work and life balanced. It is considered important because prevention is more effective and less expensive after serious disease can occused. Therefore, enncoureging gym and yoga should be part of daily life. Which not just benefitds to ijdivudals but also reduced the burden on healthcare system.

Conclusion, whilist, having health problems because of long sitting work habit is become normal, there are proper measure to make it easy to resolve. Individuals just need to make proper schedule while prioritizing their health by focusing on exercise.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both why working people fail to get enough exercise and suggesting reasonable solutions. The introduction acknowledges the issues, and body paragraphs present reasons related to economic pressure and prioritizing relaxation during leisure time, followed by solutions such as time management and promoting physical activities. However, the ideas are somewhat limited and under-developed, relying on general statements rather than specific, fully extended examples from personal knowledge. For instance, the mention of obesity and healthcare burdens touches upon important points but lacks depth. Consequently, the performance aligns best with the Band 6 descriptors, as all parts of the task are addressed, but the development remains basic.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure, utilizing an introduction, body paragraphs for causes and solutions, and a brief conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'Moreover', and 'However' are used to sequence ideas, though referencing and linking are sometimes mechanical or awkward, as seen in 'Meanwhile they miss to focus' and 'Conclusion, whilist...'. Paragraphing is present and generally appropriate, but the transitional phrases lack seamless integration. There are occasional lapses where logical progression is slightly disrupted by sentence-level grammatical errors, placing this text firmly at a Band 6 level for cohesion and logical flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'sedentary', 'aggressive market', and 'prevention is more effective'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors, awkward word choices, and spelling mistakes throughout the text, including 'fullfile' instead of 'fulfill', 'aggresive', 'faces' instead of 'face', 'enncoureging', 'benefitds', 'ijdivudals', and 'whilist'. Furthermore, collocation is occasionally weak, such as 'make their mind fresh'. These frequent inaccuracies in word formation and spelling restrict the lexical score to Band 5, as they cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from achieving a higher rating.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some variety in structure. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors in verb tense, agreement, and sentence construction. Examples include 'Having a health problems... has become controversial topic', 'money is become really important part', 'they less likely get a chance', 'after serious disease can occused', and sentence fragments like 'Which not just benefitds to ijdivudals'. Punctuation is also problematic, particularly in the final sentence and conclusion. Because these numerous errors frequently strain comprehension and reveal limited control over complex structures, the appropriate band score is 5.0.

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