Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.
Why do many working people not get enough exercise?
What can be done about this problem?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this modern era, health issue become a major concern nowadays. The main reason is that people do not get enough time to do any physical activity because of their hecktic schedule.I would like to talk about their cause and solutions in the upcoming paragraphs and will give my opnion.
To begin with, masses make their life more busy by themselfs.To explain it, people are becoming more demanding . Their needs are increasing day by day. As a result, some of them are doing two jobs which makes their routine more hecktic.In addition, sometimes they do not have a time to sit with their families.For example, young children prefer to buy expensive things such as laptop,mobile phone and apple watchs. In that way their parents have to do more work in order to complete their demands which results busy routine. Moreover, they came late at night which will put a bad impact on their eating habit. As a result, they have to suffer from some health issues such as obesity, food poisioning.
On the other hand, there are some solution which will help them to make their life better. First and Foremost, they have to plan their day before for example they have to put the alarms for each and every work when it needs to be done.In that way, it will help to remind them every hour. Moreover,they have to make their diet chart when they have to take a meal which will help them to boost energy.
To recapitualation, I believe, masses have to give some time to themselfs in order to become healthy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the main parts of the task by identifying why working people lack exercise and suggesting solutions, but the development of ideas is limited and under-developed. For instance, the discussion on why people are busy focuses on general consumer demands, such as buying expensive things like 'laptop,mobile phone and apple watchs', which only partially answers the root cause of work-related time poverty. Furthermore, the position is somewhat simplistic, and the explanation of solutions remains brief and superficial, such as advising people to 'put the alarms for each and every work'. To move to a higher level, the writer would need to fully extend and support all ideas with broader reasoning and clearer examples related directly to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the essay into an introduction, body paragraphs for causes and solutions, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. However, cohesion is at times mechanical and faulty, relying on basic or repetitive linking phrases such as 'To begin with', 'In addition', and 'Moreover'. Additionally, referencing and logical progression within sentences occasionally falter, as seen in abrupt transitions between sentences in the body paragraphs. To achieve a higher level, the writer should employ a wider range of cohesive devices more flexibly and ensure smoother logical progression throughout the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic ideas related to the topic, such as 'physical activity', 'obesity', and 'diet chart'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors, awkward word choices, and spelling mistakes throughout the text, including 'hecktic' instead of hectic, 'opnion' instead of opinion, 'themselfs' instead of themselves, and 'poisioning' instead of poisoning. These errors and the restricted range of vocabulary sometimes cause minor difficulty for the reader. To improve, the writer needs to expand their lexical repertoire to include more precise, less common vocabulary and improve spelling accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response exhibits a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic compound forms. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, they are often faulty, such as in the clause structure of 'In addition, sometimes they do not have a time to sit with their families.' There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles ('have a time', 'put a bad impact'), incorrect prepositions, and punctuation spacing issues. These frequent errors can cause some difficulty for the reader. To reach a higher standard, the writer must demonstrate better control over complex grammatical structures and reduce basic grammatical inaccuracies.
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