Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowdays, a number of working professionals get no enough time to do exercise, which results into serious health iusses. I firmly believe that the long working hours and excessive use of mobile phones are the major reasons behind this problem. To address this issue the working hours should be limited and people should reduce their screen time.

To begin with, there are several reasons why working people not get adequate time for exercise. Primarily, the long working hours make the empolyees to spend almost all day in the office, which leaves no time for individuals to do exercise when they return home. Moreover, the extended working hours make people feel tired and with no energy to do any other physical activity. In addition, during weekends people prefer to spend their free time to watch movies on their mobile phones. Since they work for five days in a week, they really want to relax and enjoy with their family as well. As a result there is no enough space for them to go to a gym or a playground and they suffer from obesity and limited muscle growth.

However, a proactive approach can be adapted to address this problem. Firstly, the shift hours should be limited so people might get free on time. Since workers come home on time, they would have sufficient time to do exercise at home or in the gym. Secondly, people should follow a strict schedule where they can limit the screen time and that time could be used in playing games. Consequently, the health related problems can be controlled as people start follow a healthy life schedule.

In conclusion, although, extended working hours and poor lifestyle make working professionals physically weak, this can be solved by following healthy lifestyle and reducing the office hours. More importantly, office should also introduce some gaming events so workers can focus on their health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by identifying the reasons why working people lack exercise and proposing practical solutions. The position is clear throughout the essay. The ideas presented, such as long working hours and excessive screen time leading to sedentary lifestyles, are relevant and extended. However, some ideas show a tendency to be slightly under-developed or repetitive, such as the discussion on weekend relaxation and family time, which prevents the response from achieving a higher rating. The solutions are also clearly outlined, covering both employer-led and individual-led actions, fulfilling the requirements well.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information and ideas are coherently arranged with a logical beginning, middle, and end, moving smoothly from the introduction of the problem to causes, solutions, and a concluding summary. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct central topic. Cohesive devices are employed with reasonable flexibility, using phrases like 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'However' to guide the reader. While referencing is generally clear, occasional slight mechanical cohesion keeps the text at this solid level.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting some less common items such as 'sedentary', 'proactive approach', and 'physically weak'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and spelling errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'Nowdays', 'iusses', 'empolyees', and awkward collocations like 'results into' instead of 'results in'. Word choices are generally adequate to convey the meaning, but these errors in spelling and word form prevent the vocabulary score from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to use varied structures such as conditional and relative clauses. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles and awkward infinitive patterns, for instance, 'make the empolyees to spend' instead of 'make the employees spend', and 'as people start follow' instead of 'as people start following'. However, these errors rarely impede communication, and the writer maintains a fair level of control over basic sentence construction, resulting in a balanced grammatical performance.

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