Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, health has become a considerable concern for many people. It is often seen that people are struggling with health issues which is occured due to overload of work . After examining this issue, this essay will not only articulate the reasons which people loss their interest in physical activities but also offers some viable measures to tackle this issue in the upcoming paragraphs.

Ostensibly, there are numerous factors which are emeraging this obstacle. Prenominenlty, advancement in techonolgy has made this issue worst day by day. To elaborate, nowadays people are engaging with more seating activities due to the advancement in technology. They do not want to come out from their comfort zone. Even though, people have desire to do work physically, they have enormous opportunitiy to make it with help of technology. As a result, they fail to devote their efforts into physical demanding activities regardless having plenty of time. Apart from this, lack of awareness about the value of well- being is also another cause. Owing to the workaholic lifestlye, people are alluring towards materlistic things to maintain luxiours lifestlye. They are ignoring the significance of health to enhance their wealth. Thus, masses have to deal with detrimental ailments .

Meanwhile, every problem comes with its solution. Therefore this issue also can be mitigate by applying few tangible ramifications. Firstly, authorities should create an awareness among the citizen.Delving deeper, although, it is necessitated to earn money for securing our future, having better health is blessing of god.Coummnity should put efforts to make youngsters as fit as a fiddle. It is illustrated by an example dint of several fitness TV programs facilitate people to involve in excercise by presenting the essentail benefits of having good health. Also it is widely accepted that health is wealth.

To conclude, no doubt there are number of factors which gives birth of unhealthy lifestyle such as shortage of time and materlistic mind yet it can still be sort out by adopting practical solutions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the question: it identifies technology-driven sedentary habits and a work-focused, materialistic lifestyle as reasons, then proposes public awareness and fitness programmes. These are relevant ideas, and the essay’s overall direction is clear. However, some points are not fully explained. For example, the claim that people have “plenty of time” sits uneasily beside the task’s focus on working people, and the discussion does not clearly explain how work schedules or limited free time prevent exercise. The proposed measures also remain general: explain who would run the programmes and how they could help workers exercise regularly. More specific examples and fuller links between causes and solutions would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction to causes, solutions and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps distinguish the two main parts of the task, and signposts such as “Apart from this,” “Firstly” and “To conclude” make the progression easy to follow. This coherent arrangement is a strength. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward, particularly “Ostensibly” and “Meanwhile,” which do not clearly express the relationships between the ideas that follow. The long opening sentence also promises an essay structure rather than introducing the main argument directly. Some references, such as “this issue,” are broad. Use simpler, more precise transitions and connect each proposed solution explicitly to a cause to make the progression more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “sedentary activities,” “workaholic lifestyle,” “awareness” and “detrimental ailments,” and the main meaning is generally understandable. There are also several noticeable spelling and word-choice problems that reduce precision, such as “emeraging,” “Prenominenlty,” “techonolgy,” “materlistic” and “luxiours.” Some phrases are unnatural or misused: “people are alluring towards” does not express the intended idea, and “tangible ramifications” is not an appropriate way to describe solutions. Prefer accurate, natural collocations over elaborate wording, and check spelling carefully. A more controlled range of vocabulary would make the argument clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response uses both simple and complex sentence forms, including a subordinate clause in “Even though people have desire…” and a relative clause in “factors which…”. This shows an attempt to vary sentence structure, and the main ideas can usually be followed. Some grammatical errors remain, however. For example, “which is occured” has an incorrect verb form, “people loss their interest” uses the wrong verb form, and “this issue also can be mitigate” has an incorrect passive construction. There are also problems with articles and agreement, as in “create an awareness among the citizen” and “there are number of factors which gives birth.” Review verb forms, passive structures, articles and subject–verb agreement, and proofread punctuation and spacing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.