Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the contemporary world, lots of working professionals spend little or no time for exercise either during the regular working time or in their leisure time. Which may significantly lead to various health concerns. This essay will explore why actively functional persons do not get enough exercise time; along with that, it also explains what can do to overcome this problem with appropriate examples in the ensuing paragraphs.

The prime reason is that people have too much workload. This is mainly because they want to get certain types of benefits from the organisation, where they work. So, they take too much workload from their manager. Ultimately, it cannot be finished at the right time. Consequently, people would not be able to allocate their sufficient time to their daily exercise. For instance, many corporate people cannot complete their tasks before the deadline. So, they work till late at night. As a result, they may be exposed to certain kinds of mental issues.

Another important reason is that people are not getting enough wages. This is due to the fact that many developing countries could not be able to provide a basic wage. The paramount reason behind this is the higher inflation rate in the nation. So, people have to work for a longer time, compromising their interest in their leisure time. For example, many middle-class residents cannot fulfil their family needs by doing regular working hour jobs. As a result, they have to do some extra hours to live their lives without any significant shortage.

To overcome this situation, governments and private companies should implement such basic rules and regulations, which regulate the basic working pattern among the citizens. On top of that, individuals would also be capable of balancing their professional life with personal life. To enforce this solution, workers should be able to prepare their daily routine in an organised way.

In conclusion, although working people have a lot of responsibilities for their family, they should look into their own health as well. Therefore, a balanced approach in the official and traditional life of an individual would be better live a happy life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions: workload and low wages are offered as reasons, while workplace rules and personal planning are proposed as responses. These ideas are relevant, but they are not developed evenly or always linked directly to the lack of exercise. For example, the workload paragraph explains why employees work late, but its consequence is described as mental health problems rather than showing clearly how this affects exercise or physical health. The low-wage explanation is also broad, and the proposed rules do not specify practical measures such as protected exercise breaks or workplace facilities. Your position is generally understandable, especially in the conclusion, but the response would be stronger with more specific solutions and fuller explanation of how each cause leads to insufficient exercise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs on causes, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. This makes the main progression easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Consequently,” “For instance,” and “To overcome this situation” help signal relationships between ideas. The organisation is effective, though some connections are mechanical or unclear. The introduction’s sentence beginning “Which may significantly lead…” is detached from the preceding sentence, and the solution paragraph moves from government and company rules to individual routines without explaining how these measures connect. To strengthen progression, make each paragraph’s central point explicit and use clearer references when moving from causes to solutions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary related to work, income, and health, including “workload,” “inflation rate,” “leisure time,” and “balancing their professional life with personal life.” This is enough to communicate the main ideas, and some attempts at more formal language are evident. However, several choices are unnatural or imprecise, such as “actively functional persons,” “take too much workload,” and “basic working pattern.” Phrases such as “traditional life” also do not convey the intended meaning clearly. These awkward collocations sometimes make the reader pause, even though the overall message remains understandable. Aim for natural, precise combinations rather than adding formal-sounding words; for example, describe employees as “working professionals” and say they “take on excessive workloads.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, using clauses with “because,” “where,” and “although,” as well as cause-and-effect structures. The main ideas are usually understandable, but errors recur in sentence formation and verb patterns. The opening “Which may significantly lead…” is a fragment, and “what can do to overcome this problem” is missing a subject. Other examples include “people are not getting enough wages” and “would be better live a happy life,” where the grammatical forms are not controlled. There are also awkward shifts between general statements and modal forms such as “could not be able to provide.” Practise building complete sentences and checking subject–verb patterns and infinitives; this will make your varied structures more reliable.

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