Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.
Why do many working people not get enough exercise?
What can be done about this problem?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In recent years,the issue of health has become a topic of incrediable debate and widespread discussion in society.Many people do some little exercise during their working day. While other are not doing any exercise.I firmly believe that everyone should be do some little workout during thier working either free time.
On the one hand,Health is a major issue which is rapidly incresing.Physically fit promotes eqality and social welfare.Nowadays numerous people facing heart diseases,or backpain,joint pain.The cause of not doing any exercise.Mostly humans has office work pressure.As day passes everyone is getting older.Everyone are busy in their life.
Despite if you give one hour to your body it will help to stay younger.Government can contribute if they can provide some gym machines in the park.Moreover people go for walk they can do some heavy workout
On the other hand,Not get enough exercise has issue of the health.In this era many corporate company has GYM moreover some sports activity, For example,badminton court,table tennis,soccer.
In japan people are getting enough exercise or eating healthy food. The reason is they live longer.
I was watching BBC news they were explaiing how the keep healthy is important for humans.Exercise is bif part of people life.If doing daily excercise it is improve sleep quality or make you fresh, you feel whole day very energetic.
In conclusion,i strongly believe that getting enough exercise is important to the people. It is give you more live longer life You no need to visit to doctor every months.You feel more relexing after enough exercise.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You address both questions: you identify work pressure and busy lives as reasons for inactivity, and suggest exercise in parks and workplace gyms as possible responses. Your position that exercise is important is clear in the conclusion. However, the causes are only briefly stated, and the solutions are not explained in enough detail to show how they would help working people fit exercise into their routines. The Japan example and the reference to BBC news do not clearly support a specific point, and some claims, such as exercise promoting “eqality and social welfare,” are not connected to the task. Develop fewer ideas more fully—for example, explain how employers could provide scheduled activity breaks or flexible access to facilities.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response has an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and phrases such as “On the one hand,” “Moreover” and “In conclusion” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, the ideas are not arranged in a clear progression: the paragraph beginning “Despite” moves from personal exercise to government provision, while the next paragraph shifts to corporate gyms without a clear link. Some sentences are fragments or difficult to connect, such as “The cause of not doing any exercise.” The contrast marker “On the other hand” also does not introduce a clear opposing point. Organise the essay around the two questions—causes first, then solutions—and use linking phrases only where the relationship between ideas is clear.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “heart diseases,” “backpain,” “joint pain,” “gym machines” and “sleep quality,” so the reader can generally identify the subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes meaning unclear. Examples include “do some little exercise,” “Physically fit promotes eqality,” and “more live longer life.” Spelling errors such as “incrediable,” “thier” and “excercise” also reduce accuracy. Build a bank of natural phrases for this topic and check spelling and word forms. More precise expressions such as “lack of physical activity” and “workplace exercise facilities” would help you explain causes and solutions clearly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
You attempt both short statements and longer sentences, but control of sentence structure is inconsistent. Several sentences lack a complete clause, including “While other are not doing any exercise” and “The cause of not doing any exercise.” Verb forms and agreement are also frequently inaccurate: “everyone should be do,” “numerous people facing,” and “it is improve sleep quality.” Articles, plurals and punctuation need attention as well, as in “many corporate company has GYM” and the run-on final sentence. These errors sometimes make the reader work to understand your meaning. Practise forming complete subject–verb sentences first, then combine related ideas with accurate conjunctions, such as “because” and “so.”
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.