Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern world, people are more entitled to work on their working days as well as on their spare time, which led to the various health problems. This essay will elucidate the causes and solutions of this obstacle in the upcoming paragraphs.

To embark upon, the main cause of this problem is the rising cost of living, which raises the prices of the basic things such as food, clothes and so on. People are forced to work more to earn their livelihood. Moreover, people are so busy in their working schedule and because of that they avoid exercising and ignores their health. For instance, recent study has shown in UK, in which they find out on an average basis people work 60 to 70 hours per week and they do not have time for exercises as they feel so exhausted and tired for working so many hours.

The solutions to curb this issue is government should run some health campaign that will spread the awareness among the people about the various health problems. Furthermore, there should be some restrictions on the working hours of an average basis as well as higher authorities should take some responsibilities to brings down the cost of living. For example, in Canada, government has set some working hours limit on daily basis which helps people to maintain the working schedule. People have more time to look after their health.

To sum up with, it is very important for people to get some vacant time from their busy schedule and do some exercises. In addition to that, it is also a responsibility of the government to take proper measures to help and control this situation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions: you explain that rising living costs can push people into longer working hours, and that busy schedules and exhaustion leave little time for exercise. You also propose government health campaigns, limits on working hours, and action to reduce living costs. These ideas are relevant, and the examples about the UK and Canada help illustrate them. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the campaign’s effect on people’s ability to exercise is not made clear, and the Canadian example would be stronger if you explained how the working-hour limit creates time for physical activity. Develop the cause-and-effect links and support each solution with a specific explanation to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. The progression from causes to remedies is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “To sum up” help guide the reader. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some control of paragraphing. However, the linking can feel formulaic, and some connections between ideas are not fully explicit. For example, the health campaign is introduced as a solution, but the paragraph does not explain how awareness would address the lack of time or energy identified earlier. Use fewer stock transitions and build clearer links between each problem and its corresponding remedy.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “rising cost of living,” “earn their livelihood,” “health campaign,” and “restrictions on the working hours.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and you attempt some formal expressions. However, several phrases are unnatural or imprecise, such as “more entitled to work,” “on their spare time,” and “curb this issue.” There are also awkward or repetitive expressions, including “working schedule” and “exhausted and tired.” These choices sometimes make the reader pause, even though the intended meaning is generally recoverable. Aim for more natural collocations and precise wording rather than relying on formal-sounding phrases that do not fit the context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “which,” “because,” and “as,” and most of the message remains clear. Some sentences are controlled, such as the explanation that people work more to earn a living. However, there are several errors in agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction. For example, “people … avoid exercising and ignores their health” shifts incorrectly from plural to singular agreement, while “the solutions … is” has a subject–verb agreement error. The phrase “responsibilities to brings down” also uses the wrong verb form, and the opening sentence has an unclear tense relationship. Review agreement and infinitive forms, and check each sentence for a clear subject and consistent verb structure.

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