Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

A substantial proportion of the population do not get enough time to workout during the weekdays which results in severe health issues. A few pecent of individuals are working eight to ten hours a day while the rest are at home, relaxing. These people are mostly the elders and housewives who are habitual of the same routine.

Starting with the group who is working, these people are involved in their work so much that they don't get spare time to take care of their health. They mostly eat ouside which mainly consists of fast food. The unhealthy food choices and sitting all day without any movement increases a person's chance to catch health problems for instance, Diabetes, Colestrol, Obesity and High blood pressure. Their stamina to walk or run also decreases gradually which might end up in taking them to the hospital bed. When these people comes back home with a back pain due to the excesss sitting at the offices, they takes all their free time realxing.

The people who are at home are mainly the elderly ones and the housewives who are either looking after the kids or doing the house chores for example laaundry, cooking and grocceries, which resily=ts them being extremely tires by the end of the d

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify relevant reasons for insufficient exercise among employed people, including long working hours, prolonged sitting, unhealthy food choices and tiredness after work. However, the response addresses the task only partially: it does not explain what should be done, despite this being a central question. The discussion of people at home is also unfinished, and the opening claim that most others are “at home, relaxing” is not supported and does not clearly answer the prompt. The response is 38 words below the required minimum, which contributes to the limited development. To improve, answer both questions explicitly, develop each reason with a clear explanation or example, and add practical solutions such as workplace activity breaks or accessible community exercise programmes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation: the opening introduces the issue, and the next paragraph focuses on employed people before a new paragraph begins about people at home. Phrases such as “Starting with” and “for instance” help signal the direction of ideas. However, the overall progression is incomplete because the final paragraph breaks off mid-sentence, and there is no paragraph addressing solutions or a conclusion. Some links between ideas are also abrupt: the discussion moves from work hours to fast food and then to illnesses without fully explaining the connections. Plan a complete structure—introduction, reasons, solutions, and conclusion—and use clear links to show how each point follows from the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “health issues,” “fast food,” “stamina,” “house chores” and “blood pressure,” so the reader can generally understand the subject. There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “excess sitting.” However, spelling errors are frequent and sometimes make reading difficult, including “pecent,” “Colestrol,” “excesss,” “realxing,” “laaundry” and “grocceries.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “catch health problems” and “hospital bed.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, for example “develop health problems” and “may eventually require hospital treatment.” Proofreading and learning vocabulary in common word partnerships would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a relative clause in “people who are working” and a cause-and-effect structure in “which results in severe health issues.” These attempts show some variety, but errors occur frequently and can make parts of the response difficult to follow. For example, “A substantial proportion … do not” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “these people comes back” and “they takes” also use incorrect verb forms. The sentence beginning “When these people comes back home” is difficult to control and ends with an unclear construction. The final sentence is incomplete. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, sentence boundaries and complete clauses, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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