Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, allocating time for physical fitness has become an increasingly common issue for working people in many parts of the world. This essay will discuss the main problems associated with this situation and suggest some effective measures to address them.

The main reason is more layoffs at work. Due to advancement in technology, many people are spending time in enhancing their skills to stay in the competitive world. For example, with the recent development of artifical intelligence, many employees are spending hours of time at work in adopting AI. Therefore there are not having any time to do exercises. To solve this issue, employers need to intialise few programs to encourage the employees to stay healthy. For example, conducting a 5K run once in a month, giving a coupon to the one who participated, taking the participation into consideration during the employees promotion. Many people may come forward to participate even they are not interested.

Secondly, after a busy day at work, many people spend a lot of time on social media, they feel browsing will give more relaxation than doing an exercise at gym. When once we start browsing, it really very hard for a person to come out of it, sometimes we spend hours of time without noticing the time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify two relevant reasons: work-related pressure to develop skills and time spent browsing social media after work. You also offer a practical employer response, such as organising a monthly 5K run and rewarding participation. However, the task asks what can be done about the problem, and the response gives no clear solution to the social-media habit or wider barriers to exercise. The first explanation is also unclear: “more layoffs at work” is not supported by the discussion that follows, which focuses on technology and skill development. The response is 36 words below the required minimum, leaving ideas notably under-developed. Explain each cause more directly and provide a solution for each before concluding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, and “The main reason” and “Secondly” help signal the two causes. The employer example is placed near the relevant discussion, so the reader can follow the general direction. However, the progression is incomplete: the second body paragraph introduces social media but does not explain what could be done about it, and there is no concluding paragraph to bring the answer together. Some links are also awkward or unclear, particularly “To solve this issue,” which follows a discussion of skill development but introduces a solution without clearly connecting it to the exercise problem. Develop a consistent sequence—cause, explanation, solution—and use a brief conclusion to summarise the response.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “physical fitness,” “advancement in technology,” “competitive world,” and “participate.” These choices make the subject clear, and the examples give you opportunities to use more specific language. However, several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “more layoffs at work” for the cause you describe, “intialise few programs,” and “taking the participation into consideration.” There are also spelling errors, including “artifical” and “intialise,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for precise collocations and check spelling: for example, describe employees as “under pressure to upskill” and employers as “introducing workplace fitness initiatives.” This would make your vocabulary more natural and effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a reason clause beginning “Due to advancement in technology” and a time clause beginning “When once we start browsing.” However, control is inconsistent, and several errors make sentences difficult to read. For example, “Therefore there are not having any time” has an incorrect verb construction, while “they feel browsing will give more relaxation” lacks a clear grammatical structure. The sentence beginning “Secondly” is a comma splice, joining two independent clauses with only a comma. There are also problems with articles and agreement, as in “at gym” and “it really very hard.” Practise accurate clause construction and punctuation, then proofread each sentence for a complete verb phrase.

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