Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modern world, the public who follows a fast paced life style in their job so they can't find enough time to do workouts or go to gym which results in serious health conditions. In other words, the population who can't find time for doing workouts because of their work which will eventually have life threatening diseases.

To begin with, the employees across the world are following a busy life style so they can't find enough time to go to gym and do some workouts. There are a handfull of reason that can be put forward to show that the public is not having enough time to do workouts. Primarily, The employers are giving more works to the employees and only giving them a short time to reach the target. For example, the people who work in IT field which will have only limited time to finish their target which will increase their workload and they can't find enough personal time.

There are significant methods can be adopted to tackle this problem. Primarily, the management have to reduce the working hours to 8 hours a day and mandatory holiday is given each week will help the labourers to find enough personal time. The management of the company have to take initiative to bring gym to their company which is accessible by not only the full time workers but also the part time workers. For example, In many hospitals they provide gym to all the employees which will increases the overall health of their organisation.

To conclude, this essays will help to clearly understand that introducing gyms and reducing the working hours will improve the overall health and well being of the organistaion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions: you identify heavy workloads and limited time as reasons for insufficient exercise, then suggest shorter working hours, weekly holidays and workplace gyms. These are relevant, and the IT and hospital examples help illustrate your points. However, the explanation of causes is more developed than the solutions: the gym proposal is clear, but you do not explain how employers could implement it or why the weekly holiday would lead to more exercise. The opening repeats the same point about lack of time, while the conclusion mainly restates the proposed measures. To strengthen the response, develop each main idea with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation and make the examples more specific.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for causes and solutions, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Primarily,” and “To conclude” make the stages easy to follow. However, the repeated use of “Primarily” is mechanical, and the opening sentences repeat the idea that workers lack time. Some links between ideas are also unclear: the hospital gym example is presented as evidence, but its connection to the proposed workplace solution could be explained more directly. Use a wider range of linking expressions and clearer references, and ensure each paragraph progresses from a main point to explanation and example without restating earlier claims.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “workload,” “working hours,” “personal time,” and “overall health and well-being.” These choices make the main ideas understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “workouts,” “find enough time,” and “management,” and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “giving more works” and “a handfull of reason.” Spelling and word-form slips, including “life style,” “organistaion,” and “increases” in “which will increases,” also reduce precision. Build a broader set of natural collocations for employment and exercise, and check spelling and word forms carefully. This would make the response more fluent and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including clauses with “because,” “which,” and “so,” and the overall meaning is generally recoverable. However, complex sentences are often not controlled accurately. For example, “the public who follows a fast paced life style in their job so they can't find…” combines clauses without a clear grammatical structure, while “the management have to reduce…” has a subject–verb agreement problem. Other errors include “There are significant methods can be adopted” and “which will increases.” Sentence boundaries and capitalization also need attention. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly attached subordinate clause, then check agreement, articles and punctuation before submitting.

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