Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Due to advancement of technology, either working days of leisure time most of people are don't do exercise or get little exercise which can led to health problems. This essay will first suggest that the biggest problem caused by this phenomenon hectic schedule as well as technological gadgets and then argue that make timetable and good guidance are the most viable solutions.

There are some problems of this issue but one prominent is hectich schedule. In this era, majority of the people are busy either office work or household chores and they do not have enough time to do exercise. In the workplace, they do work for approximately 20 hours and sometime overtime in front of screens. As a result, it may be create health problem like obesity. Moreover, due to easy accessible of either technical gadgets or internet , not only teenagers but also older generation spend time on mobile phones to play video games instead to do exercise. As a consequence, it make effect on their eye sight.

However, there are some solutions to mitigate the problem. one major solution is, people can make time table between their work schedule and doing exercise. For example, a person makes a time table, he or she do work from 9 am to 3 pm and after that rest to one hour. After resting he or she doing exercise for two hours. As a result, it may create balance between work and exercise. another solution is, both people can set the screen time on mobile phones. As

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions by identifying busy schedules and screen use as reasons, then suggesting exercise timetables and limits on phone use. The opening also gives a clear plan for the essay. However, the response only partly develops these points: the claim that people work “approximately 20 hours” is unclear and not explained, while the timetable example is detailed but does not show how people with demanding schedules could realistically follow it. The second solution is introduced but the response ends at “As,” so it is not explained or supported. Develop each cause and solution with a clear explanation of how it contributes to, or reduces, the lack of exercise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to causes and then solutions, and linking phrases such as “As a result,” “Moreover,” and “However” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the discussion shifts from lack of exercise to eye-sight effects, which are not clearly connected to the question, and the final solution is left unfinished. Some linking is mechanical or inaccurate, including “There are some problems of this issue” and repeated consequence markers. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example directly to the main point, and ensure the conclusion of each paragraph completes the idea rather than stopping abruptly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary such as “hectic schedule,” “household chores,” “mitigate,” and “screen time,” which helps communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning less clear. Examples include “advancement of technology,” “easy accessible,” “make effect,” and “do exercise”; more natural phrasing would be “advances in technology,” “easy access,” “affect,” and “exercise.” There are also spelling and form errors, such as “hectich” and “time table.” Aim to use a smaller set of accurate, natural collocations rather than relying on ambitious phrases that do not fit the sentence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a cause-and-effect sentence beginning “As a result” and a “not only…but also” construction. However, errors are frequent, and some sentences are difficult to follow. For example, “most of people are don't do exercise” combines incompatible verb forms, while “it may be create health problem” has an incorrect modal construction. Subject–verb agreement and tense are also inconsistent in “he or she do work” and “after resting he or she doing exercise.” Articles and sentence boundaries need attention as well. Practise forming complete clauses with one correctly conjugated main verb, and check agreement, articles, and punctuation when editing.

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