Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, almost everybody is doing a some kind of work and they do not find time for a little exercise. And the drawback is that they get health dieases

in this eassy i am going to expalin the life style of numerous employees

In this world, a large number of people is going to their work or job everday and they are very busy with their job some of them doing very hard job and they even can not get a free time for themselves and doing a exercise or something individuals who can do a job in offices they are doing a long duties and spend a lot of time in the front of computer screen and sitting on the chair all the day when they finish their work they feel tried they get their dinner and immdaitely going to sleep however with this busy routine how they can manage their time for exercise thats why most of them got daibetes and some harmful dieases, for example now a days the organistan set work target for the staff and they also give them extra pay so, the applicants are trying to complete the target and think about the extra money they are not watching time table and doing the work overtime and get thier home late even these types of techquines happened almost in every office thats why the participants do not find their time for exercise

In my point of view, the government should set a proper timing for offices and allow the workers to free gym to maintaining their health. In addition, the employer should give food allownce to the staff so they can take care of their diet in this way they can stay healty

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: you explain that long working hours, demanding targets and overtime leave employees tired and short of time, and you suggest office-hour limits, free gym access and food allowances. The office-worker example helps make the causes more concrete. However, the response is unevenly developed: the reasons receive a long explanation, while the proposed solutions are only briefly stated. The link between food allowances and getting more exercise is also unclear, and the opening promises to explain employees’ lifestyles rather than clearly setting out your answer. Develop each solution by explaining how it would work and why it would help, and make your main position clear from the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the response moves from an introduction to causes and then to solutions, and phrases such as “In addition” and “for example” signal relationships between ideas. However, the long middle paragraph combines several points—office duties, tiredness, health problems and work targets—without clear breaks, so the progression is difficult to follow. Some linking is repetitive or awkward, particularly the repeated use of “and” and “thats why.” The introduction also does not clearly preview the response, and the conclusion is missing. Use separate paragraphs for the main causes and solutions, organise each around one central point, and use a wider range of accurate transitions to show cause and result.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “work overtime,” “work target,” “extra pay” and “health problems,” so the reader can identify the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “work,” “job” and “exercise.” Frequent spelling errors, including “dieases,” “eassy,” “expalin” and “healty,” make the writing less clear and reduce control of vocabulary. Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “doing a long duties” and “free gym.” Build a more accurate range of workplace and health vocabulary, and check spelling and collocations carefully. For example, “long working hours” and “access to a free gym” express your intended meanings more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express cause and contrast, for example in “when they finish their work they feel tried” and “however with this busy routine,” but most sentences rely on simple patterns joined into very long strings. Frequent errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles and verb forms make some passages difficult to read. Examples include “a large number of people is going,” “they can not get a free time,” and “the government should set a proper timing.” Punctuation is also often missing, particularly in the extended paragraph about office work and targets. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas with accurate subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, articles and countable nouns, and use full stops to separate distinct points.

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