Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many employed individuals have health problems because they do not excerice enough either during work day or in leisure time. Although excessive workload and deadlines cause workers to exercise less, companies and employees can come forward towards fitness.

Excessive workload and fear of deadlines consume workers' time at office as well as at home. This makes them follow a sedentary lifestyle, with no time left to exercise, and results in health problems such as obesity and cardiovascular diseases. If an employee is working 9-5 at office and dealing with extra work at home, that person is more likely to get tired and sleep deprived. Consequently, in free time, workers prioritise sleep or relaxation over exercise. It is witnessed that people who work in coperate or government sectors are more prone to be obsese or heart patient because of less body movements.

Companies can encourage their employees to exercise by organizing campaigns and spreading awareness about health, at least once a month. Employers can also reduce a bit of workload to provide extra free time to workout may be at workplace by facilitating gym, if possible. However, companies alone can not motivate workers to exercise unless employees want to improve their health. It is working individual's responsibility to take accountability of their health and start doing exercise whenever they can. They can start with walking and stretching, or opt for gym as per their choice. In Google company, workers are fit and healthy because they spend around an hour to exercise or workout at office before leaving.

In conclusion, eventhough monotonous life and workload have made people unhealthy, companies' as well as employees' awareness about health can persuade workers to exercise enough at least once a day to avoid being obsese or unfit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses both questions and maintains a clear focus: workload and deadlines are presented as reasons for inactivity, while workplace initiatives and personal responsibility are offered as solutions. The explanation that tired workers choose “sleep or relaxation over exercise” is relevant, and the suggestions of walking, stretching, and workplace gyms make the response practical. The example about employees at Google also supports the proposed workplace approach, although it is asserted rather than explained or evidenced. Some claims are broad—for example, that corporate or government workers are more prone to obesity or heart problems—and the discussion of how employers could reduce workload is brief. Develop these points with clearer reasoning or a more specific example to make the support more consistently convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear four-paragraph structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. Ideas progress logically, and linking expressions such as “Consequently,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help show relationships between points. The cause paragraph moves from workload to fatigue and then to workers’ choices in their free time, while the solutions paragraph distinguishes employers’ actions from employees’ responsibility. Cohesion is generally effective, though some transitions and references could be more precise; for instance, “This” in “This makes them follow a sedentary lifestyle” refers broadly to the preceding workload and deadlines. Avoid relying mainly on familiar linking phrases, and connect each example more explicitly to the point it illustrates.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The response uses an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “sedentary lifestyle,” “cardiovascular diseases,” “workload,” and “facilitating gym,” so the main ideas are communicated clearly. It also attempts less common expressions such as “take accountability,” but some choices are inaccurate or unnatural: “come forward towards fitness,” “heart patient,” and “body movements” do not express the intended meanings idiomatically. Spelling errors such as “excerice,” “coperate,” and “obsese” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, use “promote fitness,” “people with heart disease,” and “physical activity.” This would make the vocabulary more precise without requiring unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although excessive workload and deadlines…” and a conditional example beginning “If an employee is working 9-5…”. Most sentences remain understandable, and the paragraph structure helps readers follow the argument. Some grammatical errors persist, however. Articles and number are inconsistent in phrases such as “during work day” and “a bit of workload”; the latter also needs a clearer grammatical construction. In “provide extra free time to workout may be at workplace,” the infinitive structure is incomplete, and “companies alone can not motivate” has a punctuation and spelling convention issue. Review articles, sentence completeness, and verb patterns, then proofread punctuation to improve control.

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