Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays ,majority of working individuals are not paying attention towards exercise in their spare time which give rise to health issues.Even though ,various causitive factors are held behind this issue,it can be tackled with some remedied which i will mention in following paragraph.

It is fairly easy to comprehend that why people are not performing physical activities.This is simply because of hectic schedule.Individuals have to work hard and sometimes they do double shifts with view to earn good money which give rise to scarcity of time in their schdedule.They get tired after work and it seems to daunting task for them to do excerises.Moreover,laziness is also other reason.When people have their free time,they like to some spend other unusal activities as watching TV and cellphones instead of performing any physical acvtivities.In result,they have to suffer from obesity ,diabesties and many other health problems.

Aforementioned problem can be tackled by some steps. If person finds one white collar job with high pay it can free them to do double shifts.They have plenty of time to enjoy leisure activities as well as physical.Additionally,Governemnet should lessen the gym membership fees and provide some addtional benefits like free yoga or classes .These schmes can motivate them to stay healthy and join the gym.Self releasation can also be a solution,there should health care fairs had better oragnised by government which give birth to self releasation in individuals.

To conclude,though hectic sechdule and lazziness is the main reason behind the lack of performing exercises in working people ,it can be handled by the collarbation of human and government.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions and maintain a relevant focus on workplace routines and health. The causes are identifiable: long or double shifts, tiredness, and choosing television or phones over activity. You also offer several responses, including reducing gym fees and providing free classes. However, some proposed solutions are not fully explained or clearly connected to the problem. For example, finding a “white collar job with high pay” is presented as a way to avoid double shifts, but the essay does not explain how workers could realistically access such jobs. “Self releasation” and health fairs are also unclear. Develop each main suggestion with a practical explanation or example, and make the relationship between the solution and increased exercise explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. This makes the main direction easy to follow, and transitions such as “Moreover,” “Additionally,” and “To conclude” help signal stages in the argument. However, some linking is mechanical, and connections between ideas are occasionally unclear. The solutions paragraph moves from higher-paid work to gym fees and then to “self releasation” without explaining how these points relate or prioritising them. Some references, such as “this issue” and “these schemes,” are also vague. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each proposed action directly to the cause it addresses; this would make progression more logical and cohesion less dependent on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “double shifts,” “scarcity of time,” “leisure activities,” and “membership fees.” These choices show an effort to discuss causes and solutions beyond very basic terms. However, inaccurate word choice, spelling, and collocation are noticeable and sometimes make meaning difficult to interpret. Examples include “causitive factors,” “remedied,” “self releasation,” and “give birth to self releasation”; the intended meanings are not clear. Other phrases, such as “performing physical activities” and “do exercises,” are repeated or unnatural. Build a reliable set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and collocations, especially for key terms. More precise vocabulary would help communicate your ideas without requiring the reader to infer your meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, complex sentences, including a reason clause beginning “because of hectic schedule” and a contrastive opening with “though.” This gives the response some structural variety. However, errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation recur and can make parts difficult to read. For example, “which give rise” does not agree with its subject, and “When people have their free time, they like to some spend” has an incorrect word order and an incomplete construction. Articles are also missing in phrases such as “finds one white collar job” and “there should health care fairs.” Review subject–verb agreement, article use, and sentence boundaries, then proofread longer sentences to ensure each clause is complete and correctly connected.

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