Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

nowadays ,most of the working peoples do not get exercise during the working days in the free time, and increase the health related issue .exercise is important every person

many peoples after the working the used the mobiles phone, exercise is necessary every person because protect the too much disease like blood sugar, heart patient ,control the disease, and etc. most of the person doing work at 9 am to 5 pm they works extra for the money, the some people they have very busy schedule ,after the work they came back home in the buses and highly trafics these reason a lots of the is wasting. most of the time they sitting in the chair and increase the risk of obesity and heart disease,

however, several step can be taken to solve the problem ,employer should their worker given gym facilities and motivate their employee to do exercise during the break hours .who employee lives near the company between one to three kilometer, they should go for walk on their way back .who people the do not lived near the company ,when they come back home they played some time with the children, after they working hours spend some time in park and go for a walk. who people do not go outside the house for walk, they should to buy some gym equipment like cycling machine, if they do not capacity to buy the gym equipment they should do exercise in home stairs spend some times to walking on the stairs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: you identify long working hours, busy schedules, commuting and traffic as reasons for inactivity, then suggest workplace gyms, walking, playing with children and exercising at home. These are relevant ideas, but they are mostly listed rather than explained or supported. For example, you mention that extra work and travel waste time, but do not show how these pressures leave workers with little energy or opportunity to exercise. The proposed solutions also need clearer links to the causes and more specific explanation. Your opening indicates that inactivity harms health, but a clear, developed overall position is not established. Explain a few key causes and solutions in greater depth, with a relevant example, to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a basic overall sequence: the first section discusses reasons and health effects, while the later section introduces possible solutions with “however.” This helps the reader recognise the two parts of the response. However, ideas are crowded into long, loosely connected strings, and paragraphing does not clearly separate the causes from the solutions. Connectors such as “because,” “and,” and “after” are repeated or used where the relationship between ideas is unclear. The repeated “who people” constructions also make it difficult to follow who each suggestion applies to. Use distinct paragraphs for causes and solutions, and organise each around one main point, supported by a clear explanation and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “gym facilities,” “obesity,” “heart disease,” “busy schedule” and “traffic,” so the reader can identify the subject and several key ideas. However, the range is limited and many phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes meaning difficult to interpret. Examples include “working peoples,” “health related issue,” “heart patient” and “do not have capacity to buy.” Repetition of “people,” “work” and “exercise” also limits flexibility. Build a bank of natural collocations for causes and solutions, and check word forms and spelling. For instance, use “employees,” “health problems,” “heart disease” and “cannot afford to buy” in the relevant contexts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to express several connected ideas, including reasons and conditional suggestions, but sentence structures are mostly simple or joined together without reliable control. Errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries occur frequently and can make the reader work to understand the message. For example, “most of the person doing work” lacks a correctly formed verb, while “they works extra” has incorrect subject–verb agreement. The long sentence beginning “who employee lives near the company” also combines several ideas without clear grammatical structure. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then add one controlled subordinate clause at a time. Check agreement, tense and punctuation when editing.

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