Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many working people do not have excess free time to do exercise due to their hectic schedules. As a result, they invite serious health problems at an early age. While, Many employees work overtime and some of them have a heavy workload at their jobs, they feel tired after returning home. As a solution, organizations should provide holidays every week for employees and people should do some basic exercise at home and lead a healthy lifestyle.

To begin with, Employees do extra job or overtime at the workplace to get financial stability. In other words, people work overtime at their workplace and do part-time work after their job, to fulfill their financial needs and achieve their goals in life. As a result, they do not have enough time for fitness. Moreover, Many workers have to face physical challenges at the workplace. They have to take stuff which is overweight, after returning to home they do not have sufficient stamina for exercise.

To prompt a solution to this problem, the organization has to fix working hours for every employee. In a simple word, the employer should provide fixed weekly schedule to workers that contains 40hrs a week. They should classify work according to the strength of workers. It helps to employees to spend their free time on fitness and build healthy habits. For example, They can join gym in their free time.

To conclude, Work is important although health is fir

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions: you identify long working hours, financial pressure and physically demanding jobs as reasons, then suggest fixed schedules and exercise in free time. These points are relevant, but they are only partly developed; for example, the suggestion to “provide holidays every week” appears in the introduction but is not explained in the main solution paragraph. The response also ends abruptly at “health is fir,” so the conclusion does not complete your position. The length requirement is not met: the response is 240 words, below the required 250. To strengthen the answer, explain how each proposed measure would work and add a complete conclusion that summarises the causes and solutions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on solutions and an attempted conclusion. Linking phrases such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “As a result” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is uneven: the weekly-holiday proposal is introduced but not carried through, and the final paragraph stops mid-sentence, leaving the essay without a clear ending. Some connections are also mechanical or unclear, particularly “While” at the start of the second sentence, where the relationship between the clauses is not completed smoothly. Organise each paragraph around one clear purpose, connect examples directly to the point they support, and finish with a complete conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for work and health, including “hectic schedules,” “financial stability,” “physical challenges,” and “healthy habits.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and you attempt some topic-specific phrasing. However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “do extra job,” “take stuff which is overweight,” and “provide holidays every week.” Repetition of “work overtime” and “workplace” also limits variety. Choose more precise collocations and avoid vague words such as “stuff”; for instance, describe the specific physical tasks workers perform. More accurate phrasing would make your ideas clearer and demonstrate greater control of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including the cause-and-effect structure “As a result” and the relative clause “a schedule … that contains 40hrs a week.” Meaning is generally recoverable, but errors in sentence construction and punctuation are noticeable. For example, “While, Many employees work overtime …, they feel tired” uses an incomplete or incorrectly punctuated contrast structure, and “It helps to employees” has an unnecessary preposition. Capitalisation is also inconsistent after commas and at the start of sentences, as in “Moreover, Many workers.” The final sentence is incomplete. Practise building complete clauses, checking verb and preposition patterns, and proofreading punctuation and capital letters; this will make your varied sentence attempts more reliable.

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