Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

people have a differnt view about weather first thing many people working hours very busy schedule, and stict duty, long hours they have not get a time to enough exercise or second view some people npt enough exercise then have create health problem. while both perspectives have their own merits.I believe that explain the benifit or conslusion of this view.

on the one hand some people believe that first thing many working people are very busy life, and long hours, hard working, too much responsbility, family,office work, time managemnet, they dont have time to enough exercise.foe example, if they get time, for excercis, but some time family issue, office work presssure,long hour standing in office, hard working, overtime, and then tired, so therefore they have together thingd cant managed properly.and some people multitallented, working diffrent office and schedule, late night came , gym close , and only they walk in own house, not exercise properly.

On the other hand i believe that if people not enough exercise they have not get time to excrise the have create problem for own life,for example people contine working and eating only , cant enough time to get excerise aso have a create health problem, first of all, obesity, cardiac problem, weight too much,cause hypertension,diabetes, hyperthyroidism,and lifting problem ,full body pain, osteoarthrits, joiny and muscle pain, they cant avle long standing and continur running, too many health problem.deveelop in life,

I will given reason on my knowledge and expirence , all as per iam observed, in my life and practical things.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify a relevant reason for insufficient exercise: long working hours, office duties, family responsibilities and tiredness can leave people with little time. You also mention possible consequences, including obesity and heart problems. However, the task asks both why this happens and what can be done, and the response gives almost no practical solutions. The second body paragraph mainly repeats the health effects rather than explaining how to address the problem. Your position is also difficult to identify: the opening refers to “both perspectives” and a “benefit or conclusion,” while the final paragraph does not clearly answer either question. Develop specific measures, such as workplace activity breaks or accessible exercise facilities, and explain how they would help.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and phrases such as “on the one hand” and “on the other hand” signal a change of focus. However, the overall progression is unclear because the second paragraph discusses health consequences rather than solutions, and the final paragraph adds little to the argument. Ideas are often placed in long, loosely connected lists—for example, “family, office work, time management” and the list of illnesses—so the reader has to infer how they relate. Some linking phrases are also used inaccurately or mechanically. Give each paragraph one clear purpose, order supporting points logically, and use linking words only where they show a genuine relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to work and health, including “responsibility,” “overtime,” “obesity,” “hypertension” and “osteoarthritis.” This shows some topic awareness, but the range is limited and many expressions are repeated or used in unclear combinations, such as “time to enough exercise” and “long hours, hard working.” Numerous spelling errors—including “differnt,” “responsbility” and “excrise”—also make parts of the response difficult to read. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, “lack time to exercise” is clearer than “not have a time to enough exercise,” while “physically demanding work” expresses the idea more precisely than “hard working.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to use longer sentences and clauses, including “if they get time for exercise, but sometimes family issues…” However, these attempts are often incomplete or incorrectly joined, and the range of reliably controlled sentence structures is limited. Errors in verb forms and sentence construction occur throughout, as in “they have not get a time” and “if people not enough exercise they have not get time.” Missing or inconsistent punctuation also makes boundaries between ideas unclear. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then connect them with accurate clauses: for example, “Many employees work long hours, so they have little time to exercise.” Careful editing for verb forms and sentence boundaries would improve clarity.

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