Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Percentage of households with electrical appliances (1920-2019)

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The Percentage of households can show the graph up an ddown every year because you can change the electric appliance .

First of all , in 1920 refrigerator can generate 0% electricity and same vaccum cleaner can generate 30% and washing machine is 40% and next years in 1940 vaccum cleaner is 50% and refrigerator is 55% and washing machine is 60% and next year in 1960 washing machine and vaccum cleaner have 70% and refrigerator is 90% and next year is 1980 washing machine is 65% and vaccum cleaner is 90% and refrigerator is 100% and the next year is 2000 washing machine is 70% and refrigerator and vaccum cleaner is 100% and the next year is 2019 is washig machine is 75% and refrigerator and vacum cleaner is 100% It realise every top year can increase the percentage and number of housework is 1920 in 50 per week and 1940 is 35 per week in 1960 in 20 per week and 1980 in 15 per week and 2000 same 15 per week and 2019 10 in per week you can realise every step down .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe the main features of the charts, providing data points for appliances and housework hours across the years. However, the information is presented in a very mechanical, list-like fashion without a clear overview or proper selection of key trends. For instance, the writer lists every single data point chronologically rather than grouping or comparing them effectively. The opening sentence fails to introduce the graphs clearly. To move to a higher level, the response needs to identify overarching trends, such as the steady rise in appliance ownership alongside the significant decline in weekly housework hours, rather than merely reciting raw figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The text suffers from a lack of proper paragraphing and logical progression. The entire body of the response is written as one long, continuous block of text, making it difficult to follow. Furthermore, sentences are linked almost exclusively by repetitive conjunctions such as 'and' and 'next year in', creating a run-on structure rather than distinct, logically sequenced ideas. There is a lack of varied cohesive devices to guide the reader through the data. To improve in this criterion, the writer must divide the response into logical paragraphs—such as an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for appliances and housework—and use a wider range of appropriate transition words.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple phrasing such as 'next year in' and repeating appliance names multiple times throughout the long sentence structure. There are also notable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as stating that a refrigerator 'can generate 0% electricity' instead of referring to household ownership percentages. Spelling and word forms contain errors, including 'vaccum' and 'washig machine'. To achieve a higher score, the writer should use a more precise and varied range of vocabulary relevant to reporting statistical data, such as verbs indicating trends (e.g., 'rise', 'plateau', 'decrease') and nouns appropriate for academic writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies on a very limited range of sentence structures, primarily consisting of long, poorly punctuated run-on sentences joined by coordinating conjunctions. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding verb tenses and forms, such as 'refrigerator can generate' when describing past data from 1920, and missing prepositions or incorrect articles (e.g., 'in 50 per week'). Punctuation is largely inadequate, with commas misused and a lack of full stops to break up the dense text. To improve, the writer needs to demonstrate control over simple and complex sentence forms, use appropriate past tenses for historical data, and apply accurate punctuation to separate clauses.

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