Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Percentage of households with electrical appliances (1920-2019)
Student answer (Band 4.5)
THE GIVEN BAR CHARTS DEPICTS AN INFORMATION OF OWNERSHIP TRANSFERING OF ELECTRIC EQUIPMENTS AND THE HOURS SPENT WHILE PERFORMIN TASK IN HOUSEHOLDS. THE DATA IS ABOUT ONE NATION FROM THE YEAR 1920 TO 2019. OVERALL, IT IS EVIDENT THAT, RAFRIGERATOR SHOWING MAJOUR DIFFREENCE IN HOUSEHOLD PURPOUSE, WHILE WEEKLY GRAPH OF HOUSE SPENDING WAS STEADILY DECREASING.
IN 1920, THE PERCENTAGE OF HOUSEHOLDS WITH ELECTRICAL APPLIANCES WAS APPLOXIMENTLY 0%, 30%, 40%, FOR WASHING MACHINE, REFRIGERATOR AND VACUUM CLEANER, RESPECTIVELY. AFTER 2 DECADES REFRIGERATOR USES DEPICTS SUDDEN GROWTH, WHICH IS AROUND 55%, AND FOR WASHING MACHINE AND VACUMM CLEANER BOTH INCREASED BY APPROX 20%. IN 1960, REFREGERATOR STILL NOTECEBLE INCRESE WHICH IS BY 40%. WHAREAS, OTHER BOTH NOT PERFORM WELL. AFTER THAT TIME, IT NOT SHOWING MAJOR DIFFRENCES BUT WASHING MACHINE USAGE SLIGHLY FALL ANF THEN BECOME STRAIGHT.
THE NUMBER OF HOURS SPEND IN HOUSEWORK IN A WEEK, IN 1920, IT WAS FREQUENT USE OF THE ELECTRONIC ITEM AND THE NUMBER IS AT 50%, WHILE AFTER THAT PERIOD PEOPLE NOT SHOW MUCH INTREST ABOUT THE EQUIPMENTS.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to address the task by reporting on the ownership of electrical appliances and housework hours between 1920 and 2019. However, the interpretation of the data contains significant inaccuracies, such as stating that refrigerator ownership in 1920 was approximately 0% when the graph indicates 2%, and claiming that weekly hours spent on housework reached 50% rather than 50 hours. Furthermore, the overview is somewhat confused, and the information presented is poorly selected and only partially covers the trends shown in the visual data. Key features like the peak and plateau of refrigerator and vacuum cleaner ownership at 100% are missed, and the development of ideas remains very limited.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is an attempt to organise the response into paragraphs, and a basic introduction and body structure are present. However, the overall progression of information is unclear and somewhat disjointed. Cohesive devices are used very mechanically or inappropriately, such as abrupt transitions like 'IN 1920,' and 'AFTER THAT TIME,' which fail to link ideas smoothly. Referencing between sentences is frequently confusing, and the essay lacks a clear logical flow from one point to the next, causing the reader to struggle in following the comparison of trends over the century.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, and the response contains numerous spelling and word-choice errors that impede communication. Examples of errors include 'DEPICTS' used instead of 'depict', 'TRANSFERING', 'EQUIPMENTS' (uncountable noun used as plural), 'MAJOUR', 'DIFFREENCE', 'PURPOUSE', 'APPLOXIMENTLY', 'VACUMM', 'NOTECEBLE', 'INCRESE', 'WHAREAS', and 'SLIGHLY'. These inaccuracies reveal a very limited control over lexical items and collocations, keeping the performance at a basic level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but these attempts are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in grammatical structures, verb forms, and prepositional use, such as 'AN INFORMATION OF OWNERSHIP TRANSFERING', 'HOURS SPENT WHILE PERFORMIN TASK', and 'THE NUMBER OF HOURS SPEND IN HOUSEWORK... IT WAS FREQUENT USE'. Punctuation is also erratic, with capitalisation used inappropriately throughout the text. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and reflect a weak control over sentence patterns.
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