Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child.

Write a letter to the parents. In your letter

• explain why you would like the job
• give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ
• say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Althougt i want to tell you advertisement in australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six month and look after six-year old child.

hello my lovely parents hope you doing well, i'm write this letter to inform you i got job for six-month in Australia. i apply for this job last month my dream job i'm doing in Australia to my own gold jewellery salesman i'm very happy because i'm with my wife and child.

i like this job because i'm intrested in gold smith. i want to improve my skill knowledge in Australia with my family there is peaceful life standard.

i spend free time in Australia gold market and know the traditional wear in gold jewellery when i free i go park with my family and some time we spend time to watching movie.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to address the core requirements of the prompt. You were asked to apply for a position as a child caregiver, but the content focuses on your personal desire to work as a gold jewellery salesman. Furthermore, the letter does not follow the required format, and the word count is below the 150-word minimum. Because the content is largely irrelevant to the specific task instructions (looking after a child), the response does not adequately cover the bullet points provided. To improve, ensure you read the prompt carefully and tailor your response to the specific role advertised.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The letter lacks a logical structure and clear paragraphing. The ideas are disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow your purpose. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences or ideas, and the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. The opening is confusing, as it attempts to restate the advertisement rather than stating the purpose of the letter. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and include linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition' to connect your thoughts logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and often inaccurate, which hinders communication. There are frequent errors in word choice, such as 'gold smith' (goldsmith) and 'know the traditional wear in gold jewellery', which do not convey a clear meaning. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas or professional intentions. You rely on basic, repetitive language. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to professional applications and daily activities, and ensure you use words in their correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammar is significantly flawed throughout the text. There are persistent errors in sentence structure, verb tense ('i'm write', 'i apply'), and punctuation. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'i'm very happy because i'm with my wife and child.' The lack of capitalization for 'I' and the misuse of articles further reduce clarity. The range of structures is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple, error-prone sentences. To improve, you must focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and consistent use of tenses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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