Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child.
Write a letter to the parents. In your letter
- explain why you would like the job
- give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ
- say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear Sir or Madam,
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Subject: WANT TO APPLY THIS JOB AS A CARETAKER
Dear Sir,
I would like to bring this to your notice that i am interested in this job offer as i was taking care of my grandparents from past 3 years so i am pretty aware of the facts that i am good at taking care of family members or young ones. I know their desired needs and things that they would like to be in.
If by any chance i get this job i would love to get the child out with me to some park where he can play his heart out, probably makes the best food which he love to eat and prepare for all the needs he would might have before time and these are definately something which parents are looking for before hiring someone for their child.
I would appreciate if you will hire me for this job.Keenly waiting for your reply.
Regards,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The letter gives a reason for applying, referring to three years of caring for your grandparents, and mentions taking the child to a park and preparing food. However, the task is only partially addressed: the experience is not explained in enough detail to show why you are suitable to care for a six-year-old, and the free-time point is missing. The park and cooking plans concern the child’s activities, not how you would spend your own time in Australia. The letter also does not clearly explain why this particular six-month position appeals to you. Develop each bullet point directly, for example by describing relevant childcare skills and naming activities or places you hope to enjoy in your free time.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The ideas are grouped into paragraphs, and the sequence moves from your interest and experience to plans for the child and a closing request. This gives the letter some basic organisation. However, progression is limited because the second paragraph combines childcare plans with a claim about what parents want, while the required point about your own free time is absent. Connections between ideas are also sometimes awkward: “If by any chance I get this job” introduces a conditional plan, but the following details run together without clear separation. Use one paragraph for each task point and link the ideas with straightforward transitions. A conventional opening and a more complete closing would also make the letter easier to follow as a formal application.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use enough vocabulary to communicate the general topic, including “taking care of,” “job offer,” “park,” and “prepare.” There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “taking care of my grandparents” and “the needs” of the child. However, the range is limited and several expressions are unnatural or imprecise, which can make the reader pause: “bring this to your notice,” “desired needs,” and “play his heart out” do not fit a formal job application naturally. Spelling and capitalisation also need attention, including “definately” and lowercase “i.” Choose direct, conventional application language and precise childcare vocabulary, such as “provide attentive care” or “meet the child’s needs.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts longer sentences with subordinate clauses, for example “If by any chance i get this job…” and “I would appreciate if you will hire me…”. These show an effort to express conditions and requests, but the structures are often faulty, and sentence control is inconsistent. Examples include “from past 3 years,” “the child he would might have,” and the missing “that” after “appreciate.” Capitalisation and punctuation also affect accuracy: “i” should be “I,” and there is no space after the full stop in “job.Keenly.” Use simpler, controlled sentences first, then add accurate complex forms. Check tense and time expressions, modal verbs, articles, and punctuation before submitting.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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