Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child.

Write a letter to the parents. In your letter

• explain why you would like the job
• give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ
• say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing to informe yoou about advertisment concerning regarding care taker opportunity for longer time duration.

I would appreciate it if you could provide me opportunity to work as long term - care taker for your family as well as your kid as I have excellent exeperiance with weknown hospital in my country.

I would like to work with you due to my international experience in my filed. I do have englightment of Australian health care systme, which can be assistfull to keep record of heath of family member.

I would like utilise my spaire time on exploring health care institute.By visiting certain eminent hospital, i can incline my knowledge into my filed. In order to stay updated with advance health care equipment, this journey would become assistful in my professional life.

I can get opportunity to exapnd my professional contaces via connecting with you.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Your faithfully,

Vishakha Chavda

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You make a relevant attempt to apply for the advertised role and explain that your healthcare experience motivates you. However, the response only minimally addresses the task: it does not clearly explain your suitability for caring for a six-year-old, and it gives no childcare experience or examples of qualities relevant to looking after a child. Your free-time plan focuses on visiting hospitals and developing your career, rather than describing a broader plan for your stay in Australia. The letter also refers to caring for the family and keeping health records, which does not match the advertised childcare duties. To improve, address each bullet directly and support your suitability with specific, child-focused evidence, such as experience, patience, or planned activities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The letter has a recognisable opening, several paragraphs, and a closing, so the reader can identify its general purpose. However, the ideas are not arranged coherently enough to form a clear application: the first two paragraphs repeat the request for a long-term caretaker position, while the later paragraphs shift between healthcare knowledge, hospital visits, and professional contacts. Connections between ideas are sometimes unclear, as in “I can get opportunity to expand my professional contacts via connecting with you,” which does not clearly follow from the free-time plan. Organise the body around the three requested points, using one paragraph for each, and make the links between sentences explicit and logical.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “international experience,” “health care system,” and “advance health care equipment.” However, vocabulary errors are frequent and sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “informe,” “exeperiance,” “spaire time,” and “assistfull,” as well as awkward or inaccurate phrases such as “longer time duration” and “incline my knowledge.” Several expressions are also unsuitable for this childcare context, particularly repeated references to healthcare institutions and family health records. Build a more accurate range of vocabulary for childcare and personal qualities, and check spelling and collocations carefully. Prefer clear, natural phrases over ambitious wording that is not used accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use a few different sentence patterns, including conditional politeness in “I would appreciate it if you could provide me opportunity” and a reason clause beginning “as I have…”. This shows some ability to attempt more than simple statements. However, errors occur frequently, and some sentences are difficult to interpret. For example, “I do have englightment of Australian health care systme, which can be assistfull to keep record of heath” has unclear grammatical relationships and missing articles; “I would like utilise my spaire time” also lacks the required infinitive marker. Work on complete sentence structures, articles, verb patterns such as “would like to,” and punctuation between sentences. Aim for accurate, straightforward sentences before adding more complex forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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