Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowaday the ratio of online shoping is increasing gradully. This ratio will one day lead to all shops in area are closing. I agree with this statement,This is because many people who having busy life they prefer to online shoping due to short timing. Further more old people are like online shoping . This will hapen when online shoping have gain the public trust . Therefore, public faced lot of scames.Due to online order they receve a duplicate copy of the orignal . This is the basic falt of online shoping . But on the other hand young person , who having time to go and like shoping on direct shops.

Moreover,this trend is very popular in modren countries, in foreign countries. But in some countries they have lost thier emage due to scames . They show and publish the orignal photo but they receve opposit and second copy . This attitude have loss their emage of online shoping. If they control thier behaviour , people want to buy online . This trend will one day lead to all shops .

In the light of my personal experience some people those having time they prefer to go on shops and like to watched the quality on necked eyes and then decide what they like to buy the things . It on upcoming trending.

In future mostle people like to buy online .

To sum up with this, this trend is increased day by day in develop countries , and also get fame the other countries, but in small countries people like to go outside and like barganing .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a position by saying, “I agree,” and you discuss relevant factors such as convenience for busy people, online scams, and shoppers who prefer to inspect goods in person. These points show an attempt to address the question, but the argument is only partially developed. The response does not clearly explain how the advantages and disadvantages lead to the prediction that all town and city shops will close; indeed, your examples about bargaining and checking quality suggest that some physical shops may remain. The position also becomes uncertain in the conclusion, which says the trend is growing but does not restate whether you agree that every shop will close. Develop two or three reasons with specific explanations and examples, and maintain a clear position throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some paragraphing, and expressions such as “Moreover,” “on the other hand,” and “To sum up” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow: the response moves from convenience to scams, then to young shoppers, countries, personal experience, and a brief prediction without clearly linking these points to the central claim. Some connections are unclear, as in “This trend will one day lead to all shops,” which does not explain the preceding point. Several transitions are also used mechanically or inaccurately. Organise the essay into a clear introduction, body paragraphs each focused on one reason, and a conclusion that follows from those reasons; use referencing and linking phrases only where their relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “online shopping,” “public trust,” “scams,” “quality,” and “bargaining,” so the reader can identify the subject. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, for example “shoping,” “scames,” “emage,” and “necked eyes.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “short timing,” “a duplicate copy of the original,” and “get fame.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “convenience,” “product authenticity,” and “physical retailers” would help you explain your ideas without repeating “online shopping” and “people” so often.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “If they control their behaviour, people want to buy online.” However, complex attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, and punctuation sometimes make the meaning hard to follow. For example, “many people who having busy life they prefer” has an incomplete relative clause and an unnecessary second subject, while “This ratio will one day lead to all shops in area are closing” combines incompatible verb patterns. There are also run-on sentences, such as the opening sentence followed immediately by “This is because” without appropriate punctuation. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and conditionals with correct verb forms and punctuation.

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