Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some individuals are of the opinion that with the rapid increase in online shopping, all stores in suburban and urban areas would soon go extinct. I firmly disagree because not everyone can patronize online stores, especially people who are not tech-savvy, and there is the risk of breach of privacy and online theft.

Body paragraph 1

First and foremost, people will always patronize shops in town and rural areas, especially elderly individuals who are not tech-inclined and cannot access the internet. For example, not all older generation know how to turn on their internet devices; on the other hand, many older parents do have mobile phones that can access the internet. Therefore, there is a huge barrier gap that may not be closed anytime soon.

Body paragraph 2

Furthermore, the breach of privacy and online theft has made many persons reluctant to use websites to shop. This is because shoppers are scared of the rapidly growing rate of scam pages disguised as real businesses that scam people of their hard-earned money. In addition, the online banking system has been exposed to threats from hackers, who now use people's personal details to gain access to their bank applications and withdraw huge sums of money. Moreover, the fear of Customers' ATM cards being compromised while trying to pay for purchased goods via POS is another issue of great concern.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while the increase in online shopping is a great win for society in terms of technological advancement, I believe it also exposes online buyers to a lot of financial risks, which would not encourage many people to switch completely to purchasing online.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt clearly, maintaining a consistent position throughout. You have identified two main reasons for your disagreement: the digital divide among the elderly and concerns regarding online security. While the ideas are relevant, they could be developed further. For instance, in the first body paragraph, the argument about the elderly is slightly repetitive and could benefit from a more concrete example of how physical shops provide essential social interaction or immediate service that online platforms cannot replicate. The conclusion is a bit brief and does not fully synthesize the points made. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with a clear link back to the main argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'Furthermore', and 'In addition' to guide the reader. However, the paragraphing is slightly unconventional, as you have included headers like 'Body paragraph 1' directly in the text, which disrupts the flow. Additionally, some transitions are a bit mechanical. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the progression of ideas within paragraphs is smoother, avoiding repetitive phrasing like 'not all older generation' followed by 'many older parents'.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'tech-savvy', 'extinct', and 'compromised' effectively. There are some instances of slightly unnatural collocation, such as 'barrier gap' (a redundancy) and 'scam people of their hard-earned money'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise synonyms to avoid repeating words like 'scam' or 'online'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'not all older generation know' (should be 'the older generation knows') and 'Customers' ATM cards' (unnecessary capitalization). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You have a good grasp of basic sentence construction, but to improve, you should aim for more complex structures, such as using conditional sentences or passive voice more effectively to discuss the risks of online shopping, while ensuring subject-verb agreement remains consistent.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.