Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this technological driven world, window shopping plays vital role in it because it made everything available at one's fingertips. But, this will lead to closure of too local businesses. I am thoroughly in the favour of writer's notion and reasons for that are mentioned in trailing paragraphs.

To commence with, due to advoncement in technology society relies on online-shopping which on not only made them lazy but also kills local business. This is the major concern for of the authority nowadays to boost small shops in town. If the population prefer virtual shopping for longer period, this will collapse native stores completely which will lead to increase in crime rates. For instance, according to the latest article for of Toronto star newspaper states what that local stores are closing in down-town Toronto due online competetion is in 2026 and there is surge in crime rates.

Further more, the country's significant revenue is based on tourism and due to bankruptcy of such small business it will also affect the number of visitors in that nation. This will lead to inflation in the market. Also, citizens get products at discounted rates which cannot be match by native owners which results they have to sell their products at cheaper rates results in less profit margin. For example, nowadays most of the shopkeepers they put on boards at outside for their stores stating they "do price match" which means they con sell product at the same rate as available online to attroct the costumers.

In conclusion, online-shopping not only curtails the touorism but also the revenue generate through it. So, one should promote business of their surroundings and try to bug an product locally which will directly reduce crime rates and boosts country' economy.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favour of the idea that online shopping will lead to the closure of local shops. The ideas are relevant, such as the impact on local businesses, crime rates, and tourism. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The link between online shopping and increased crime rates is asserted but not logically explained, making the argument feel slightly tenuous. Additionally, the example regarding the 'Toronto Star' in 2026 is hypothetical and lacks clarity. To reach a higher band, you should focus on providing more logical, step-by-step explanations for your claims rather than relying on unsupported assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use some cohesive devices like 'To commence with', 'Further more', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'which results they have to sell their products', where the connection between clauses is grammatically disjointed. The flow between sentences is generally understandable, but the progression of ideas could be smoother if you used a wider variety of linking words and ensured that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'bankruptcy', 'inflation', and 'profit margin'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'technological driven world', 'native stores', and 'bug an product'. Spelling errors are also present, including 'advoncement', 'competetion', 'attroct', and 'touorism'. These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, but they do limit the precision of your writing. Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on accurate collocations would improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the closure of too local businesses'), subject-verb agreement ('population prefer'), and sentence construction ('which means they con sell product at the same rate as available online to attroct the costumers'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas and missing articles throughout. While the meaning remains clear, the high frequency of these errors indicates a need for more careful proofreading and a stronger grasp of basic grammatical rules to ensure that complex sentences are constructed correctly.

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