Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
There is considerable disagreement over the weather online shopping rapidly increasing day by day in whole world it is really convenient while some people argue that individual prefer to go to local near Market for shopping it is negative development in human nature. This essay will be disscus both views followed by my personal opinion.
Those who advocate shopping is essential it plays vital role in human life. Their reasoning is based on the assumption that shopping is best way to spend quality of time with family and create some memorable moments. For instance 80%in our nation people prefer to go to local market for shopping especially during festivals because it has great opportunity to trying different kinds of outfits and manage their money according to their offspring.
Conversely proponents of that few residents prefer to shopping online it's really convenient thing for busy people. Because at the moment people are really busy in their office work they have no time to go to market during festivals time and special occasion. Then they bought online everything. For example in the daily life a lot of people bought different kinds of items but sometimes it is not good in quality and some time it diminishing.
In conclusion offline shopping and online shopping both are good. Because every view points have their own advantages but I firmly believe that if people more prefer to shopping online then sometimes they give them cheaper price as compared online shopping.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response is only partly focused on the question. It discusses reasons for choosing physical or online shopping, but does not clearly answer whether online shopping will eventually cause all town and city shops to close. The opening promises to discuss “both views,” although the task asks for your own position, and the conclusion says both forms are good without stating a consistent degree of agreement or disagreement. The examples about festival shopping and busy workers are relevant, but the claims are brief and do not explain whether physical shops can continue to survive. The response also falls five words short of the required minimum. To improve, state your position directly and support it with developed reasons about the future of physical shops.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The contrast between “Those who advocate” and “Conversely” helps signal a change in viewpoint, and the conclusion attempts to summarise the discussion. However, the overall progression is not clear because the essay shifts between the value of shopping as a social activity and the convenience of online purchases without linking these points to whether shops will close. Some connections are also awkward or incomplete, such as “Because at the moment people are really busy” and “Then they bought online everything.” Use topic sentences that directly address the question, and make each paragraph develop one connected reason. Clearer links between examples and your position would strengthen the organisation.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant vocabulary, including “convenient,” “local market,” “festivals,” and “quality of time,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “proponents” and “firmly believe.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear. For example, “disagreement over the weather” does not express the intended topic, “manage their money according to their offspring” is difficult to understand, and “it is diminishing” does not clearly describe the problem with online purchases. Spelling errors such as “disscus” are also noticeable. Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing retail and consumer behaviour, and check that each expression fits its context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response includes attempts at longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “Because at the moment people are really busy in their office work they have no time to go to market.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “individual prefer,” “people prefer to go,” and “if people more prefer,” where verb forms or sentence structure are not controlled. Articles and prepositions are also often missing or inaccurate, as in “spend quality of time” and “go to local market.” Punctuation is inconsistent, particularly in the opening sentence and around examples. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries.
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