Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent era, people focuced on earning a lot money to get happier life. Now questions rised that money can make people happy and while others things there are many ways available to make life happier? In this essay will discuss on both of views in detail including with my own reasons.

First of all, they says that huge amount of money can make life easier. There are several supportive reasons for such claim, like it make like easiar than before by providing various facilities, sources and many more. Because of that, persons life feel more stress like one person who wash his own clothes by his hand but after having washing machine he can save time and energy. With the help of money people can decrese their own burden on someone else whom now works for that people as an employee.

Is that very common simple example which suddenly explain everything about perks of huge money. As per my knowledge, I would like to share one of my recent experience in this essay, one of friend who do not affort anything and living under stress after getting nice job now he has enough money to get everything, now he looks healtier and happier than before.

In conclusion, there large number in account make person life easier but they need to sacrifice their time and mental health to get that point. Temptation of money affect humans health and create mental issue which is not good payback.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address the question by explaining that money can make life easier, using a washing machine as an example, and by describing a friend who became happier after finding a well-paid job. However, the second part—what other things in life can bring happiness—is not really answered: the response focuses almost entirely on money and its effects. Your position is also difficult to identify, as the opening asks questions rather than stating a clear view, and the conclusion mainly warns about the costs of pursuing wealth. The examples are relevant but need fuller explanation and clearer links to happiness. The response is four words below the required minimum. Develop both parts of the question and state your view directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to an explanation, a personal example, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “First of all,” “Because of that,” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. However, the overall progression is limited: the personal example repeats the point that money can improve life, rather than developing a new idea about other sources of happiness. Some connections are unclear, particularly “Is that very common simple example,” which does not clearly link to the previous paragraph. The introduction also promises discussion of “both” views, but the essay does not go on to organise or explain two distinct sides. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “facilities,” “burden,” “employee,” “temptation,” and “mental health.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both the practical benefits and possible costs of wealth. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make meaning difficult to follow, such as “get happier life,” “persons life feel more stress,” and “large number in account.” Spelling errors, including “focuced,” “easiar,” “decrese,” and “affort,” are also noticeable. Aim for more precise phrases and check spelling carefully. For example, describe how money can “reduce financial pressure” rather than saying it makes life “easier than before” without specifying how.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a few longer sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “Because of that” and the contrast in the conclusion between money making life easier and the sacrifices involved. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences hard to understand. Examples include “In this essay will discuss,” which lacks a subject, “they says,” where the verb does not agree with its subject, and “one of friend who do not affort anything,” where the clause structure and verb form are faulty. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “Is that very common simple example,” which is not a complete, clear sentence. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using controlled relative clauses and conjunctions.

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