Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Happiness has a different defination for everyone. For some people, happiness means financial stability, while for others it simply means good health. Having a lot of money can bring temporary happiness in life; however, many other factors play a role in building a stable life. In my opinion, money is not the option that can make us happy. In this essay, I will discuss about people who think that having a lot of money can make them happy and people who think otherwise.

Many people believe that money can bring them all the happiness in life. This is because with money they can buy anything they want. Many people compare themselves with others and wish to become like them. For example, a common man who is inspired by celebrities would like to dress up like them. To do so, he will need to spend a lot of money in makeup, clothing, grooming, and confidence building. At this point, if he has money, he will do these things, which will eventually make him happy. On the other hand, if he does not have money, he will not be able to do anything to improve his lifestyle. Hence, for such people, having money is what makes them happy.

Apart from money, many other things exist that can make people happy. Good health, access to clean drinking water, access to medical care, and access to education are few things that can make someone's life happier. For instance, there are regions across the globe with no access to clean water. Adults and children are suffering from water-borne diseases and they wish to have clean drinking water. In this case, the only thing that can make them happy is clean water. Similarly, some people have diseases with no cure. Despite of having money, they cannot be treated because cure is not available. Hence, what will make them happy is a medical cure for their illness not money.

In conclusion, money is not the only way that can be a source of happiness but many other factors can contribute. Personally, I believe that happiness is much more than money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the question and maintains a clear view that money can help but is not the only source of happiness. The explanation that money enables people to buy desired items is relevant, and the examples of clean water and medical treatment show how basic needs can matter more than wealth. However, the money-related example focuses on copying celebrities and improving appearance, so it does not fully explain broader ways wealth may create happiness, such as security or opportunities. The other sources are listed, but health, education and relationships could be developed more evenly. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits and limits of money in more depth and support each main idea with a specific, clearly connected example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on money and other sources of happiness, and a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “For example,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. Some linking is mechanical or repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “Hence” and the formulaic announcement, “In this essay, I will discuss about…”. There is also a slight mismatch between the introduction’s promise to discuss people who think differently and the body’s focus on examples rather than contrasting groups. Improve cohesion by linking each example directly to the claim it supports and varying transitions, while keeping the paragraph structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

Vocabulary is adequate for the topic, with relevant expressions such as “financial stability,” “temporary happiness,” “water-borne diseases,” and “medical cure.” These allow the main ideas to be communicated clearly. However, some choices are imprecise or unnatural, including “money is not the option,” “spend a lot of money in makeup,” and “confidence building.” The spelling “defination” also detracts from accuracy. Repeated use of general words such as “money,” “happy,” and “things” limits flexibility. Aim for more precise collocations and a wider range of terms—for example, describe financial security, access to essential services, or personal fulfilment—while checking spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if he has money, he will do these things” and contrast clauses introduced by “while” and “although”-type ideas. Most sentences are understandable, and errors rarely obstruct the message. Some grammatical patterns need more control: “a common man … would like” shifts to “he will need,” and “Despite of having money” uses an incorrect construction. The phrase “access … are few things” also has an agreement problem, while “discuss about” is an incorrect verb pattern. Practise consistent tense and subject–verb agreement, and review verb patterns and prepositions. More accurate complex sentences would help the range feel more controlled.

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