Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people in our society used to pay too much attention to their finance. They assert that person would live happily if they have a lot of money. From my perspective, a person may feel happier when they achieve their desire results. Some times even trival moments and achievements can make them feel better. This essay will outline the ways to

To begin with, strong finance can help us to solve the problem in different ways. It is often observed that financial struggle may make people frustrated and vulnerable. In our society, people are being judged based on their financial capacity. In developing countries like India and Pakistan, if individual do not have enough money, they can not send their children to school. Furthermore, governments do not support and offer any help. As a result, some people consider money is a main source of happiness. For instance, strong finance allow parents to send their kids in reputed schools, whereas poor families may struggle to get admission for their children.

Furthermore, there are many different ways to feel good. It is different from a person to person. In general, students feel better when they receive excellent results in exam, adults feel relief when they get their first job and parents feel blessed when their child achieve something extraordinary. Happiness does not tied with any perticular moments. For instance, citizens express their happiness when their team win a game against their rivals.

To sum up, many people in our society judge happiness based on someone's status, although it is not right index. Happiness can be achieved through small moments, while money is a source to make our lives more convenient.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the question and maintains a clear overall view: money can improve people’s circumstances, but happiness also comes from personal achievements and everyday events. The examples about paying for children’s education and celebrating a team’s victory are relevant. However, the explanation of how money creates happiness focuses mainly on access to schooling and social judgement; it could also explain more directly how financial security meets needs or reduces stress. The second part is illustrated with several examples, but these are listed rather than explored, and the opening claim about achieving desired results is not fully developed. A more explicit comparison of money’s benefits and its limits, supported by fuller examples, would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Paragraphs generally have clear purposes, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore” and “To sum up” help the reader follow the main stages. Overall progression is coherent, but some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “This essay will outline the ways to” is left unfinished, interrupting the introduction, while “It is different from a person to person” does not clearly connect the preceding point to the examples that follow. The conclusion repeats the central contrast but does not draw together the examples. Use linking phrases that show the precise relationship between ideas, and ensure each paragraph develops its point in a connected sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses enough vocabulary to discuss finance, education and sources of happiness, including terms such as “financial struggle,” “financial capacity” and “extraordinary.” Meaning is generally understandable, and there are attempts to use topic-related language. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “strong finance,” “reputed schools,” “right index” and “achieve their desire results.” Spelling errors including “trival” and “perticular” also reduce accuracy. Some wording is repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “happiness” and “feel.” Build a more precise range of natural collocations and check spelling; for example, describe financial resources as “financial security” and use “measure” rather than “index” when discussing how happiness is judged.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

There is a mix of simple sentences and attempts at more complex structures, including conditional and subordinate clauses, as in “if individual do not have enough money” and “when they receive excellent results in exam.” The main ideas remain understandable, but some errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction recur. Examples include “a person may feel happier when they achieve,” where the pronouns do not agree, “strong finance allow,” and “Happiness does not tied.” The opening also ends with the incomplete construction “This essay will outline the ways to.” These issues show that more careful control is needed even though the overall message can be followed. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, complete verb forms and article use, while retaining varied sentence patterns.

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