Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
An increasing number of people believe that having an abundant amount of money is the best way to be happy in life. People can opt for many options through financial stability. Although money is important to make lives easier, having a peaceful mind and a good health is also important to be satisfied in life. I believe money helps people to walk away from any situation which costs their mental and physical health.
On the one hand, it is needless to say that money plays an important role in everyone's lives. Consequently, many people work hard to make their lives financially stable, as money offers freedom of expression. The importance of money is abundant, many people starve for food due to lack of money. People can get standard of living through a strong financial goal which helps them to stay away from proverty. Furthermore, many people get sick longer time but they do not get a proper treatment due to financial crisis. Moreover, having a lot of money doesnot only make people happy but it also provides sense of security.
On the other hand, many people have a lot of money but they are not happy with themselves. One of the reasons for this problem is not having proper mental peace. When people are mentally sick, nothing helps to be happy in life. It is needless to say, mental wellbeing as important as having a lot of money to become happy. Furthermore, health is the only wealth in life. If people are healthy enough to work, they can make money. Consequently having a good health is more important than having a lot of money. Moreover, people can be happy with a good health and a healthy mind without having a lot of money.
In conclusion, money is the only thing that has a power to control. Even if someone is sick, they will need money to get cured. Money is the root cause of happiness as it provides all facilities and acssibilities to lead a happy life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses both questions: it explains that money can provide food, medical treatment, security and a better standard of living, then identifies mental wellbeing and physical health as other sources of happiness. Your position is present, especially in the opening, but it becomes less clear in the conclusion, which calls money “the only thing that has a power to control” and “the root cause of happiness,” despite earlier arguing that health and peace of mind matter too. Several points are relevant but under-developed: for example, the discussion of financial security would be stronger with a specific example of how it reduces stress or expands choices. Clarify your overall view and explain each main reason more fully.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting considerations, and a conclusion. The “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” framing helps readers follow the broad organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from freedom to food, living standards, illness and security without explaining how these points connect. Linking words such as “Furthermore” and “Moreover” are repeated, making cohesion feel mechanical, and the conclusion does not clearly follow from the balanced discussion. Group related ideas, use more varied and precise transitions, and make the final paragraph restate a consistent position.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “financially stable,” “financial crisis,” “mental wellbeing” and “sense of security,” which helps communicate the main ideas. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes making the meaning less clear. For instance, “freedom of expression” does not fit the point about what money enables; “standard of living” needs a more natural construction, and “starve for food” is awkward in this context. There are also spelling and form errors such as “proverty,” “doesnot” and “acssibilities.” Aim for precise, natural combinations and check spelling and spacing carefully; this will make your vocabulary more effective without needing unnecessarily elaborate words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “Although,” “as” and “when,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, errors recur in sentence construction, agreement, articles and punctuation. For example, “having a peaceful mind and a good health is also important” has an awkward agreement pattern, while “mental wellbeing as important as having a lot of money” is missing a verb. The sentence beginning “The importance of money is abundant, many people…” joins two independent ideas incorrectly, and “Consequently having a good health” needs punctuation and a more accurate article pattern. Practise building accurate complex sentences and proofread each sentence for a complete verb, correct agreement and punctuation.
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