Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Myriads of individuals reckon that best way to stay joyfull in their lives is to having a tons of bank balance. Having big checks can provide freedom and happiness for buying everything that person likes, but real joy came from happy family, love and peace; which can never be replaced with money.

To enlighten the first statement, having large amount of bucks can easily make life more smoother and luxurious. For instance, my uncle is a public figure, a wealthy young man, if he wants a big dream house, luxurious cars and anything else in their lives for happiness, he will not think about spending with the power of luxury.

However, money is not everything, it brings alot of stress and bigger troubles in future, if the person does not know, where to spend and how to use their budget in right direction. Moreover, having a valuable family bonds, love of your life and a peaceful life are priceless moments. For example, recent surveys on this topic says; ordinary people always had a happier family life with relaxing mindset than the bigger celebrities.

In a nutshell, money is a major factor as per new techsavvy era, but if a person does not have enough money but living in a simple house with beautiful happy family and sleep peacfully with stressfree and calm life; it leads to more healthier way to stay disease free and live longer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions and maintain a clear overall view: money can provide comfort and choice, while family, love and peace offer other sources of happiness. The examples of a wealthy uncle and surveys about family life are relevant, but they are asserted rather than explained, so the reader gets limited support for the claims. The discussion of how money itself creates happiness could also be developed beyond buying a house, cars and other things. Your conclusion restates the contrast, though its point about health and longevity is introduced without support. The response is 14 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop these ideas. Add specific explanation or an example for each main point.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph about money, a contrasting paragraph about non-material sources of happiness, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “However,” “Moreover,” and “In a nutshell” make the main shifts easy to follow, and the central contrast is sustained. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. However, some links are mechanical, and the relationship between ideas within sentences is occasionally unclear—for example, the sentence beginning “However, money is not everything” moves quickly from stress to family bonds without fully connecting those points. Develop each paragraph around a clearer sequence of claim, explanation and example, and use referencing more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range to discuss wealth and happiness, including “freedom,” “luxurious,” “priceless,” and “stress-free,” and the main message remains understandable. There are also attempts at less common or vivid expressions, such as “myriads of individuals” and “techsavvy era,” but some choices are unnatural or imprecise for this topic. Informal terms such as “bucks” and “big checks” weaken the essay’s academic tone, while “stay joyfull” and “sleep peacfully” contain spelling errors. These issues do not prevent understanding, but they show that word choice and spelling are not yet consistently controlled. Prefer natural collocations such as “financial security” and “a large amount of money,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “but” and a conditional clause beginning “if a person does not know.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms occur often enough to limit accuracy. Examples include “the best way … is to having,” “real joy came,” and “a valuable family bonds”; these involve article, verb-form, tense and agreement problems. The long final sentence also combines several ideas without a clear grammatical structure, and the semicolon after “love and peace” does not correctly join the clauses. Practise building accurate sentences first, then extend them with subordinate clauses, checking articles, agreement and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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