Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, some people assume that money can provide all kind of happiness in life. How that money help them to stay happy. And instead of money what other things in life can also make people happy. This essay discuss answers about asked questions.

On the one hand, main question is that money can provide all kind of comfort in the life. There are many factors behind this, like financial stability, purchesing power and better healthcare and education. For example, X have a lot of money with him shelf so he can afford education by paying high tution fees to the top University. Second one is that, person stay out of stress about his future. Because he knows that he has a enough balance in the backup to fullfil his needs of the future life.

On the other hand, Some think that instead of money there are several things present which will also make or provide happiness to people. This thinking also have several reasons in it's support such as job satisfaction and peace of mind. For instance, recently my friend told me he is very happpy with his current position in his company. Because he feels very satisfied with his routine. There is no extra burden or office load on him.

In conclusion, Money can provide all kind of facilities and happiness to human and also you can buy the entertainment tools by power. But opposite this some time some people find there happiness in nature or feel satisfacted with small things. They happy with what they have.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: money is linked to financial security, education, healthcare and reduced worry, while non-financial sources include job satisfaction, peace of mind and enjoyment of nature. These are relevant points, but several are only briefly stated. For example, the education example about “X” is generic and does not explain how access to education contributes to happiness; the friend’s satisfaction is more specific but could be connected more clearly to the wider point. Your opening raises the questions rather than establishing a clear answer or position, and the conclusion mostly repeats the ideas. Develop each reason with a clearer explanation or example and state your overall view directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for money and other sources of happiness, and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” helps readers follow the two sides. However, some links feel mechanical, and progression within paragraphs is not always smooth. The opening consists of several short questions and a sentence announcing what the essay will do, rather than a connected introduction. In the first body paragraph, “Second one is that” does not clearly connect the point about future stress to the preceding examples. Use fewer formulaic transitions and link each explanation directly to the idea before it; clearer referencing would also help readers follow who or what is being discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “financial stability,” “purchasing power,” “healthcare,” “education,” “job satisfaction” and “peace of mind.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes making meaning less clear. Examples include “all kind of happiness,” “with him shelf,” “an enough balance,” and “feel satisfacted.” Spelling errors such as “purchesing,” “tution” and “happpy” also affect the impression of control. Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully. Replacing repeated general words such as “things” and “happiness” with context-specific terms would make the discussion more exact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more developed sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “Because he knows…” and an example introduced by “For instance.” However, sentence control is inconsistent, and faulty structures sometimes make the reader pause. The opening fragments, “How that money help them to stay happy” and “This essay discuss,” lack correct sentence structure or verb agreement. Other examples include “This thinking also have several reasons” and “They happy with what they have,” where agreement or a required verb is missing. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “a enough balance” and the fragment beginning “Because he feels.” Practise complete sentences, subject–verb agreement and article use, then proofread each sentence for a clear main verb.

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