Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

While financial stability is undeniably essential for meeting basic needs and securing a comfortable standard of living, wealth alone cannot guarantee genuine fulfillment. Some individual believe that the main way to happy in life is to have a lot of money. Although there are some benefits of having money and they become happy, such as achieve desire goals as well as fulfil there needs,and other things in life can make people happy, namely family bonding and physical activity and nature.

First and foremost benefits of having money to make people happy is fulfil their basic need. To justify, when people have money in their life they have chance to achieve their desirable goals.For example,in Finland, teachers are professional and have equal educational opportunities. Its approach demonstrates how inclusive education can improve learning and support student s from diverse backgrounds. Another advantage is people become happy because they have chance to complete their basic needs owing to they have faced some problems when they do not have money in the past; thus, having alot of momey people become happy.

Despite the benefits of having a lot of money people become happy, there are another ways in life can make people happy is strong family bonding. To elaborate, if there is having no money in their life but there is a strong family relationship so they can be happy without money.In addition, Using free resources like public libraries, podcasts, or online tutorials to master a skill or hobby.Journaling, writing poetry, drawing, or making handmade cards.Consequently, there are some ways to become happy without money.

To conclude,even though having money in their life people become happy, it helps prleople to achieve desirable goals and fulfil basic needs and there are others way to be happy in their life without money is having strong relationship with family mambers and doing physical activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both parts of the question: money is linked to meeting basic needs and pursuing goals, while family relationships and activities such as learning a hobby are offered as other sources of happiness. However, the discussion is only partial and several ideas remain unclear or insufficiently supported. The example about Finland’s education system does not clearly show how wealth makes an individual happy, so it weakens the relevance of the first body paragraph. The response also mentions physical activity and nature in the introduction and conclusion but does not explain them in the main discussion. Develop each point with a direct explanation or a relevant example, and make your position about whether money is the main route to happiness clearer throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “First and foremost,” “Despite,” and “To conclude” help identify the stages of the essay. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven, and some links are mechanical or unclear. The Finland example interrupts the explanation of how money meets needs, while the shift from family bonding to libraries, podcasts and handmade cards is abrupt. Phrases such as “Another advantage” and “Consequently” do not always make the relationship between ideas clear. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on. Clearer referencing and more natural transitions would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “financial stability,” “comfortable standard of living,” “basic needs,” and “family bonding.” These choices show an attempt to discuss happiness and money beyond very basic terms. However, the range is limited and several noticeable word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “the main way to happy,” “achieve desire goals,” and “alot of momey.” Some phrases are also imprecise, including “there are another ways in life can make people happy.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “pursue personal goals” and “meet basic needs,” and proofread spelling and word forms. More precise vocabulary would help express your ideas without changing their meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although there are some benefits…” and a conditional idea beginning “if there is having no money…”. However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles and punctuation sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “Some individual believe” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “if there is having no money… so they can be happy” does not form a correct conditional sentence. Several sentences also run together without appropriate spacing or punctuation. Practise building accurate short sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “although,” “because” and “if.” Check agreement and sentence boundaries during proofreading.

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