Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that having a lot of money is a great way to live a happy life. Because people may be able to fulfil their desires and not worry about the future. Other things can be staying with loved ones as well as satisfaction. I will explain these points in upcoming paragraphs.

Firstly, there are numerous individuals who think money can buy anything to achieve dreams. For example, well-known actors and players purchase all things whatever they want because they have enough money to get them. Additionally, with the help of money, they secure their future, such as by saving the profit or insurance.

On the other hand, some people do not think about money or other valuable things because they just love their family members and other loved ones to stay happy in their lives as well as keep happy to close ones. For instance, pupils who always stay happy with their family they live longer than others because they take care of them. Furthermore, if people are satisfied in life, then they stay happy and always search for those things which make them happy, not just collecting money to be stressed. To illustrate, monks live long and happy because of satisfaction level and stay away from those which attract them to connect with materialistic delusion.

In conclusion, having a lot of money can make people happy because it helps them fulfil their dreams and secure their future. However, spending time with loved ones and being satisfied with life are equally important. Therefore, I believe that money is important, but it is not the only way to achieve true happiness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the question and maintains a clear overall view: money can support happiness, but relationships and satisfaction matter too. The explanation that money helps people fulfil desires and prepare for the future is relevant, and the conclusion restates this position effectively. However, some ideas are more fully addressed than others. The examples of wealthy actors and players are broad and do not show clearly how possessions lead to lasting happiness. The claim that pupils who are happy with their families “live longer” is also asserted without support, while the point about satisfaction is more relevant but could be explained further. Develop each main idea with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation or a specific, credible example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for money and other sources of happiness, and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “On the other hand” and the summary beginning “In conclusion” help readers follow the main progression. This meets the lower-band expectation of clear organisation and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. However, links within sentences are sometimes awkward or unclear, particularly “as well as keep happy to close ones,” and the opening fragment beginning “Because” interrupts the flow. Some transitions, such as “Firstly” and “Additionally,” are predictable rather than varied. Make the relationship between each example and its main point explicit, and use pronouns and linking phrases that clearly identify who or what is being discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses enough vocabulary to discuss money, relationships and happiness, including terms such as “secure their future,” “satisfaction,” and “materialistic.” It also attempts some less common language, which shows an effort to express abstract ideas. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “purchase all things whatever they want,” “keep happy to close ones,” and “satisfaction level.” These phrases sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. The vocabulary is also repetitive, especially around “happy” and “money.” Aim for more natural combinations and use precise alternatives where possible; for example, explain that money can provide financial security or access to experiences rather than saying it can “buy anything.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

There is a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “such as,” and “if.” The conclusion is grammatically clear, and several sentences communicate their main point successfully. Some errors remain in sentence construction and clause control. The opening “Because people may be able to fulfil their desires…” is a dependent clause presented as a complete sentence, and “pupils who always stay happy with their family they live longer” combines clauses without a clear grammatical connection. In “they secure their future,” the pronoun reference is also unclear. Work on joining dependent clauses to complete sentences and checking that each clause has a clear subject and verb. These improvements would make the argument easier to read.

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