Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In contemporary era, money plays a vital role in everybody lives. Many individuals believed that main factor to be joyful in life is to have a considerable amount of money. Although money can provide financial assistance and a comfortable lifestyle, I reckon that good health, strong family relationships are equally essential for happy life.

To begin with, money plays a significant role in individuals life. The main reason is that it provides the financial security as people have less worries and stress with money. If people have a-lot of money, they are easily survive a good lifestyle. For example, when individuals have financial support, they don't have stress about rents, bills and a live luxuries lifestyle. It is also helps them to purchase any expensive and comfortable things for themselves. Moreover, With the help of money, people could enjoy their life with grateful ways in education and health care systems. Nowadays, private hospitals are extremely expensive so wealthy families can afford it due to money. As a result, financial stability is highly significant for overall well-being.

Apart from this, there are several other factors that contribute to people’s happiness. First and foremost is that a healthy relationship with family. People who are close with their family members and a spend a quality time together have a less stressful life. According to research, spending quality time with family can have a positive impact on people's happiness. Furthermore, Good health is highly essential for happiness. When people are physically and mentally healthy, they can enjoy their lifestyles without suffering from illness and any injury. As a result, they are likely to feel positive and energetic with their lives.

To conclude, although money plays a major factor in financial stability and wealthy lifestyle, good relationship with family members and physical and mental health are also equally important for living a happy and fulfilling life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question and give a clear position: money can provide security and comfort, while health and family relationships also matter. The discussion of financial security is relevant, with examples such as paying bills and accessing private healthcare. Your second paragraph also identifies two suitable sources of happiness. This meets the core requirements, while the balanced conclusion reinforces your view. To develop the response further, explain more precisely how money itself contributes to happiness—for example, by reducing insecurity or enabling meaningful choices—and extend the points about family and health with specific examples. The claim about spending time with family is supported mainly by a general reference to research, so a concrete illustration would make the reasoning more convincing and fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining the benefits of money, a paragraph on other sources of happiness, and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress logically, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “Apart from this” help readers follow the discussion. The conclusion also returns to the main comparison. Some linking is a little mechanical, however, and several sentences repeat the same point about money’s importance or use “As a result” to introduce a conclusion that is already clear. The transition from financial security to education and healthcare could be made more explicit. Use fewer formulaic connectors and build clearer links between each claim, its explanation, and its example.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “financial security,” “financial stability,” “quality time,” and “physically and mentally healthy.” These expressions help communicate the main ideas, and the meaning remains clear despite some imprecise choices. However, several phrases are unnatural or incorrectly formed, such as “enjoy their life with grateful ways,” “a live luxuries lifestyle,” and “good relationship with family members.” There is also repetition of “money,” “happy,” and “significant.” Aim for more natural collocations and vary key terms—for instance, use “a comfortable lifestyle,” “access to healthcare,” or “a fulfilling life” where appropriate. Greater precision in word choice would make the argument sound more fluent and controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening with “Although” and conditional structures such as “When people are physically and mentally healthy, they can enjoy their lifestyles.” Most sentences communicate their intended meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. Examples include “Many individuals believed” where the present-tense argument calls for “believe,” “they are easily survive,” and “It is also helps them.” There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence construction in phrases such as “a healthy relationship with family” and “a spend a quality time together.” Review subject–verb agreement, verb forms after auxiliaries, and article use. More accurate control of these patterns, alongside your existing attempts at complex sentences, would strengthen the writing.

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