Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There is a famous saying that money makes the mare go. Many people believe that money is the real key to make life happy. In this essay, I will discuss the popular reasons behind this thought and another way to add real happiness in our life.

Everyone in this world is working hard in their daily life to make their lifestyle easy and luxurious, which is a little hard without money these days. In this materialistic era, everybody demands to have big mansions and luxury cars which again needs money to buy. Almost every individual wants to travel all along the world, and explore different undiscovered places, which seems impossible without money. Adults and even old people have become fashion freak and wants to wear expensive clothes of big brands, just because they are influenced by their role models and they are ready to spend hefty amount of money on those brands.

On the other hand, there are a lot more way to achieve the happiness in our life. Firstly, many people spend their huge time of their daily life to help needy and poor people which gives them happiness for instance, Anmol Kwatra, who is a famous personality in India, runs a non-profitable charity for the streets animals or the victims of accidents. He always take care of their diets and medicines. Secondly, there are some people who take care of the environment by planting more and more trees in their surroundings ,which gives them a feeling of true happiness.

In conclusion, I would like to recapitulate that money is not the only way to find happiness, people can also find it by helping oth

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and alternative sources of happiness. The ideas are relevant and supported by examples, such as the mention of Anmol Kwatra. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The first body paragraph focuses heavily on material desires, while the second paragraph provides examples of altruism. The conclusion is incomplete, which impacts the overall task completion. To reach a higher band, ensure that all sections, including the conclusion, are fully developed and that the essay maintains a consistent depth of analysis throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'On the other hand' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun usage in the second paragraph. The abrupt ending of the essay significantly disrupts the flow and coherence of the final section. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring a complete, well-structured conclusion would enhance the overall cohesion of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'materialistic era' and 'recapitulate'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'fashion freak' (which is informal) and 'huge time of their daily life' (which is unnatural). Additionally, there are minor errors in phrasing, such as 'non-profitable charity' (usually 'non-profit organization'). Expanding the range of precise collocations and avoiding informal idioms would help elevate the lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('everybody demands', 'wants to wear'), missing articles ('travel all along the world'), and awkward phrasing ('there are a lot more way'). Punctuation errors, such as the spacing before commas, are also present. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage will improve accuracy.

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