Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In the modern era, money has become a integral part of the daily life. Some people believe that main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. However, other factors also contribute to make people happy. This essay shall discuss the importance of money in people's lives and other things in life can make people happy.
On the one hand, having a lots of money can buy materialistic things people wish to have. This is because they may not see the price tag of the product. As a result, a dopamine hormones which is a happy hormone in our body released and it lead to happiness. For example, women have been dond of luxury bags buying it makes them above the world.
Moreover, people can contributes to lots of things such as, building schools and other necessary things which are necessary for the society.For example there are so many YouTubers are earing lots of money and they contribute to the society.
On the other hand, there are so many other factors that money can not buy which are family relations and emotional support from loved-ones. This is because people share thier issues and worries to family in this busy fast-paced society. Not only does this result in increase in affection, but it also resolves the problem. As a result, people can make stronger bond with their family and friends.
To conclude, although,money can buy materialistic things, having family and friends in life can make people happy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that bring happiness. The ideas are relevant, but the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of 'dopamine hormones' and the example of YouTubers are a bit simplistic and lack depth. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your points with more detailed reasoning or specific, well-explained examples. The position is clear throughout, and the structure covers all requirements of the task effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'Moreover,' and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the connection between the idea of YouTubers and societal contribution is slightly abrupt. The use of referencing is generally clear, but ensure that your cohesive devices are used to link ideas more naturally rather than just acting as signposts at the start of paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You attempt some less common vocabulary, such as 'materialistic' and 'fast-paced,' which is positive. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'a integral part' (should be 'an integral part'), 'dond of' (likely meant 'fond of'), and 'earing' (should be 'earning'). To improve, focus on mastering common collocations and ensuring your spelling is accurate, as these minor errors occasionally distract from the sophistication of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully use some complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('a dopamine hormones'), subject-verb agreement ('YouTubers are earing'), and pluralization ('a lots of money'). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your message. To move to a higher band, aim for greater accuracy in your complex structures and pay closer attention to basic grammar rules like article usage and verb forms.
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