Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Nowadays, individuals are running behind the money to achieve financial freedom. They assert that financial freedom is only why to stay happy in life. Whereas, other beleive that other things meter too. This eassy will explain both views before sharing my point of view.
On the one hand, people not even able to get three basic need food, shealter and clothes without money. Therefore, if people not able to surve this basic needs to their loved ones without money, how people can believe that happiness is not infulenced by money. definatily it is effact. Furthermore, in present era people find happiness in materialisting thing such as buying new clothes , cars, house and so on without money purchase this thing we not possible. Consequently, money make people happy.
On the other hand, people assert that family and friend play a important role in making person life happy. Spending time with loved one, watching movie with family, playing with childerns, going out with frined will help individual to make happy and rememberable memories in life and this happiness is not infulenced by money. As a result, there are some other ways to make person life happy without money.
In my opinion, while family and friends play a crucial roal to make person life happy and memmrable without money, but the materialastic approach of individual pull me in the favour of money infulence the happiness alot.
In conclusion, undoubtedly money is the need of every individual in the world, the connecton of it with happiness is completely depend on personal approach.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that influence it. The position is clear, although the conclusion is slightly contradictory to the body paragraphs. The ideas are relevant but remain somewhat superficial; for example, the explanation of basic needs is a good starting point but lacks depth in terms of how financial security translates into long-term happiness. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your examples with more specific reasoning or real-world context rather than listing items like 'cars' or 'houses'. Overall, the response is on-topic and covers all requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in your argument. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. Referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the body paragraphs and the conclusion could be smoother. The logical progression is present, but the mechanical nature of the linking words prevents a higher score. Improving the variety of your cohesive devices would help the essay read more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors ('eassy', 'beleive', 'meter', 'shealter', 'surve', 'infulenced', 'definatily', 'effact', 'materialisting', 'memmrable', 'roal', 'infulence', 'connecton') that occasionally distract the reader. While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'financial freedom' and 'materialistic approach', the frequent spelling mistakes and limited range of synonyms suggest a need for more careful proofreading and vocabulary expansion. Focus on learning the correct spelling of common academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('money make people happy'), missing articles ('a important role'), and incorrect verb forms ('without money purchase this thing we not possible'). While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips before attempting more complex structures.
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