Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is widely believed that having a great deal of money can provide people's happiness. I completely agree that money is one of the fundamental needs in human life, such as enhancing health and maintaining relationships.

First and the foremost, Individuals desire basic well-being by having abundant money; they can access lovely medical facilities. For example if someone is really sick or any major health issue they can access to any expensive hospital to save their life. Moreover, it will indeed be fully funded when nuclear families experience a serious calamity or crave curing. For instance, when someone suffers from severe mental health issues that require rapidly executed treatment, healthy assurance can be utilized in treating. This will maintain his joyfulness and it can provide life expectancy as well since physical fitness is connected with joy. Thus, the more essential investment wealth, the more uncomplicated access to better medical facilities and the joy that the public can absolutely gain.

On the other hand, possessing an abundance of money must become an inherent human right when someone lives in a strong social environment. This means that there is a link between having great finances and powerful social connections. To illustrate, when a male gets laid off since his firm must downsize the cost, his colleagues, who have an enormous company and financial independence, are likely to aid regardless of a tangible sense of kinship. As a result, I admit that not only he can get rid of stress and his feeling of being pleased but also his friends have supplied a better quality of life and built excellent relationships with other people.

To cite an epitome, while money that can evoke individuals' joyfulness is the primary factor of health and relationships in a myriad of regions, people should intensely consider wealth as satisfying personal fulfilment and resolving their issues.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to happiness. However, the second part of the prompt—'what other things in life can make people happy'—is not explicitly answered. Your conclusion mentions 'personal fulfilment,' but this is not developed into a distinct point. To reach a higher band, ensure you dedicate a full paragraph to non-monetary sources of happiness, such as family, hobbies, or personal achievements. Your position is clear, but the development of ideas is somewhat limited by the focus on money throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, and you use some cohesive devices like 'First and the foremost,' 'Moreover,' and 'On the other hand.' However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'To cite an epitome.' Additionally, the logical flow within paragraphs is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing, which makes it harder for the reader to follow your argument. For example, the link between being laid off and the colleagues' financial status is a bit convoluted. Improving the variety and naturalness of your linking words will help your ideas progress more smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fundamental needs,' 'financial independence,' and 'calamity.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'crave curing,' 'healthy assurance,' and 'essential investment wealth.' These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly unclear. To improve, focus on learning common collocations (words that naturally go together) rather than using complex-sounding words that may not fit the context. Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate your ideas, but it lacks the precision required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the joy that the public'), preposition usage ('access to any expensive hospital'), and sentence construction ('when someone suffers... healthy assurance can be utilized in treating'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Proofreading for basic sentence structure errors will help you achieve a higher score.

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