Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Few individuals believe that having abundance of money can make is the only path to be happiest in life. This essay will discuss the reasons behind how being rich can make human being happier and what other ways of making people cheerful with the exception of money.

There are many causes of feeling happy for richest people, firstly they can afford a convenient lifestyle as they must have cars and motorbikes to travel from one place to another. Consequently, they do not need to depend on public transportations such as buses, taxis and train. For Instance, according to the survey, 40% people are considered themselves blessed because of their luxuries lifestyle. Secondly, Richer people do not need to depend on anybody due to the reason behind is that they are already having lots of money to spend on without need to ask anybody to spend on.

On the other hand, few humans believe that bond in between family members bring so much joy in people's lives. To expand this, family members are the key to success because during hardship days, only people in family could help to give motivation. Therefore, living with family members is the most blessed gift from the God. For example, 40% youngsters gave up to do suicide in year 2015 because of their parent's motivation words. Moreover, health is an another important aspect of living a cheerful life. To explain this, If somebody is dealing with illness, it could be hard to for them to enjoy their life.

To conclude this, although there are some advantages of having lots of money such as convenient lifestyle and independent. However, health and family bond is another important part of life to be considered in long term.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors like family and health. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of why money provides independence is repetitive and lacks depth. The examples provided, such as the statistic about youngsters and suicide, are not clearly integrated or logically sound in the context of the argument. While the position is clear, the supporting points require more elaboration and logical connection to fully meet the requirements of a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is a basic attempt to use cohesive devices like 'firstly', 'consequently', and 'on the other hand'. However, some transitions are mechanical or used incorrectly, such as 'To expand this' or 'To explain this', which do not always logically link the preceding and following sentences. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between ideas is sometimes disjointed, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher level of cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher score. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'having abundance of money', 'human being happier', and 'motivation words'. The student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but the lack of control over collocations and word forms (e.g., 'luxuries lifestyle') limits the effectiveness of the communication. More variety and more accurate usage of academic vocabulary are needed.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('40% people are considered themselves'), article usage ('the God'), and awkward sentence construction ('the reason behind is that they are already having'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and affect the overall fluency of the writing. A greater focus on sentence structure accuracy and proofreading is recommended.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.