Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
A few individuals argue that significant reasons to be happy is earning chunks of money. In this essay, I will depict the reason behind this phenomenon and various ways to be happy apart from the higher income.
To commence with, enhancing living standard is one of the reasons to be happy after earning a lot of money. To elaborate on this, individuals can not only able to afford higher cost of living, but also can pursue luxuries items such as expensive watches, clothes and so on. For instance, high income society is enjoying their life because they able to spend money on travelling, shopping and outing. Further, it will give them happiness through enjoy various life movements. Moreover, they can afford education, hospitals and necessary services. Consequently, there living standard is improved which give them delightedness.
On the other hand, the small movements also give temporary happiness instead of having a money. To explain further, people who receive recognization from society, big achievement, rewards, as well as spending time with family members also be a reason to get happy. For instance, having jokes during family meal make their family members to laugh as well as give them happiness.
To conclude, although higher income is one of the ways for individuals to be delightful due to its accessibility of various facilities as well as affordability to spend on items, small events also a cause for individuals to be happy. The balance approach is mandatory.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other sources of happiness. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the explanation of how money improves living standards is repetitive, focusing mainly on consumption. Furthermore, the response is 243 words, which is below the 250-word minimum requirement. This under-length negatively impacts the depth of the argument. To improve, you should expand on your examples with more specific details and ensure you meet the word count to allow for a more thorough exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'To explain further' or 'To elaborate on this'. Additionally, some sentences lack smooth flow due to grammatical errors, which occasionally disrupts the progression of ideas. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your referencing is precise throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic phrases like 'chunks of money', 'delightedness', and 'small movements'. There are also some collocation errors, such as 'high income society' instead of 'high-income earners' or 'wealthy individuals'. While your meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and you struggle to use more sophisticated or academic terminology. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations related to the topic of wealth and well-being.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'individuals can not only able to afford' (incorrect verb structure), 'they able to spend' (missing auxiliary verb), and 'there living standard' (incorrect homophone usage). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the frequency of these grammatical slips prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of modal verbs to improve your accuracy.
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