Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In recent years, an increasing number of individual think that happiness become in life from money. However, I do not agree with this view, because many people suffer from fatal disease although they have a lot of money but they do not happy in their life. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will discuss reasons with relevant examples and logical facts.
To commence with, Why some people believe that money bring happiness in their life. Firstly, people have money they can take easily any decisions such as moving to another country, better education, and arrange big partiers in luxury palace. Secondly, they can also donate excessive amount of money to old age home, and schools. Apart from it, they do not long wait for any appointment and also choose wisely hospital for their best treatments. As a result, money is play significantly important role in their life.
On the other hand, there are some reasons why do not agree with this statement. with money buy anything but not happiness. This is because, old aged people have money but they do not happy as their family members lives away in big cities for their future, and only visit at home on occasion. Due to which, they feel alone. Furthermore, many individuals suffer from chronic disease and they do not enjoy their life. Hence, happiness do not buy from money.
In conclusion, money is not important factor in life to become happy. However, Healthy lifestyle and good connections with family and friends are big reasons to be happy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money brings happiness and what other factors contribute to it. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of why money allows for 'better education' or 'luxury palaces' is brief and lacks depth. While the ideas are relevant, they are not fully extended, and the supporting arguments, such as the mention of elderly people, are somewhat repetitive. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed examples and elaborate on the reasoning behind your points to ensure a more comprehensive discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, such as in the third paragraph where the transition 'with money buy anything but not happiness' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the logical progression. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'they', 'this') is always clear would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic terms like 'big', 'good', and 'happy' repeatedly. There are also some noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'fatal disease' (when referring to chronic conditions) and 'arrange big partiers' (should be 'parties'). While your meaning is generally clear, the lack of more sophisticated or 'less common' vocabulary prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on learning collocations and more academic synonyms will help you express your ideas with greater precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('happiness become', 'money is play', 'happiness do not buy'), missing articles, and incorrect word order. For example, 'Why some people believe that money bring happiness in their life' is a sentence fragment rather than a full statement. While the meaning is usually understandable, the high frequency of these errors indicates a need for more careful proofreading and a stronger grasp of basic sentence construction and verb forms.
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